I’m beginning to recognize the expression.
I see their brows bend together and their shoulders recede almost imperceptibly. I watch as the corner of their lips pulls downward ever so slightly.
I talk to women all the time who haven’t found their passion. It often starts with a few casual (or sometimes probing) questions about this blog. Not because this undertaking is so significant to them, but because they can tell that it is significant to me.
These women are medical assistants, half-marathoners, and room moms. They have bachelor’s degrees or years of experience in a specific field. They are all moms.
But it doesn’t always matter what they’ve done in the past. I can still pick out the expression.
It is the face that says I don’t know where to start and I don’t even know if I want to try.
But do you know what the big (not-so-secret) secret is? Trying is the best part!
It doesn’t matter what you start with. My first official interest after having a baby was practicing the piano, and I am still not very good! It doesn’t matter if you find your life calling or if you make some pretty greeting cards. It doesn’t matter if the hobbies you skip around pursuing are completely unrelated. Someday, you might just notice a commonality, something larger that holds them together. But even if not, you will be moving, looking—trying.
If you are feeling depleted, searching for your passion will light you back up.
It is the riskier move, of course. Trying can mean slow growth (hello, Erica’s piano skills), rejection, and disappointment.
Sometimes we moms envy those who found their passion before they had kids. But I say, look at it as a chance to show your children a woman who practices resilience and knows the fire of discovery.
That is an expression I love to see.
So what stage are you in? Have you found your passion? (Or one of them?) Are you bouncing in search of them, enjoying the journey? Or are you even ready to start?
I love how you said finding our passion will light us back up! So good, I needed those exact words today!
I’m glad, Ashley! I imagine you’ve got plenty of passion to keep you lit up, though! 🙂
This is so true! For the longest I put off making quilts because it seemed so complicated to learn all the right techniques. But then one day I decided that I would go to the fabric store, buy fabric and just wing it! I’m so glad I did, because it continues to be something I enjoy. It may not be perfect, but it’s something that I love to do when I have time. 🙂
Good for you, Jillian! I love you attitude that they may not always be perfect, but it’s something you enjoy. So simple, and yet our hobbies can be so enriching to our lives.
I just started a book that talks about this! According to Jon Acuff, the first step to “achieving awesomeness” is learning (i.e., trying lots of stuff); then comes editing (honing in on the stuff you really enjoy); *then* comes mastering. Then you guide and mentor others who are on the same path. This can process can take years, even decades. And according to him, there’s no reason, in the Internet age, that we can’t pick up new hobbies or passions later in life … or master the ones we love early on. The book is called “Start” and I just meant to skim it when I picked it up yesterday (I’m in the middle of two other books right now!) but it’s so readable I devoured the whole first chapter before life called me away!
(And incidentally, reading is one of my passions. 😉 )
Beth, I just added Start to my goodreads. Thank you! It looks great and has good reviews! I have a deep love for “self-help” books. Using that term in the best possible sense, of course. 🙂 I like his flexible approach to finding your passions.
I’ve been frustrated with this lately. I try to think of what my hobbies/passions are and I come up with nothing! I used to love photography and running but life just seems too busy. I don’t know what to do with “spare time.” But in reading this it just dawned on me. I like to do projects. None of them are really related but I like to get things done and be productive and maybe that IS my hobby.
Yesterday it was organizing lists, starting a sewing project, and researching bedding. Today it was digging holes for new plants and planning a birthday party. Each day is something different and I tend to bounce around from project to project. Sometimes I wish I could just sit down and do something from start to finish. I think my big messy craft table (and hubby!) would thank me!
Liz, I think I remember you mentioning this conundrum before, and I’m thrilled that you put your finger on a common strand! Projects! I know someone who is always starting something, and it doesn’t matter tremendously to her how or when she finishes it. Her life seems so full, and her energy is contagious!
My friend Lisa, in a comment today on facebook, called her passion “creating.” Maybe you are similar.
Good luck with your big, fun, messy craft table (and hubby!)! I wish I could see it!
Thank you for making me stop and think about my passions. And that they make take years and years to develop and/or discover. You also made me think about the paino lessons I took while I was pregnant wih Kalvin. I had to stop when I had him, but it was a relief in a way bc i wasnt very good and it was becoming a chore. Kalvin is now learning to play the piano and he has complimented me on my teaching skills. He says out of all the people who help him with his practicing, I am by far the best. Hmmm, compliments from my children are rare when you are mostly viewed as the mean mommy. I should really put more one on one time into practicng with him bc I too really enjoy the time with him as well as playig and learning along with him. Thanks for this “ah ha” moment Erica!! xoxo Kristen
I find it so touching how something we attempt pursing may not bring huge satisfaction to us, but later it could bring much greater satisfaction in a different way—in your case, playing with your son. We just never know where our paths will end up! I think it’s safe to say there was a reason you picked up the piano in the first place. 🙂
Thank you, Kristen! Have a good night!
I think I need more passions! Something to fill the days that can get pretty endless. I love to sew but haven’t had a good project for a while. Maybe making Christmas gifts will help motivate me soon, and especially when we find out the gender of the new baby (which I am itching to know so I can start getting working on something)!
I’m glad you found a passion in this blog (and in so many other things in your life, too). You are good at it.
Hey Rach! Right before you left this comment, I was about to text you asking if you have the ultrasound scheduled. I’m so excited to know!! And no doubt, it will spur some new sewing projects. 🙂 I use the carseat cover and pink whales blanket you made ALL the time! Thank you!
This post was the perfect timing for me. I have recently started swimming for exercise (not my favorite, but I have joint problems since my daughter was born and can’t do high-impact exercise). Your post was a reminder that I can make this a good experience by thinking of this as time to myself to develop a new skill.
Thank you so much, Lori. What a great takeaway from this post. Sometimes we focus so much on passion discovered that we don’t give much thought to the journey. I’m so sorry about your joint problems, and I bet you’ll really grow to enjoy swimming! Good luck!
Oh I love this post! I was so intimidated by sewing that I didn’t try it for years but this past Christmas I asked my family for a sewing machine – if I received it as a gift I would HAVE to learn how to use it! I started small, sewing lines on scrap pieces of fabric. Then I began stitching those scrap pieces together. After that, I took a few sewing classes to learn how to follow a pattern and better understand my sewing machine. Now I can sew hats, pajamas, scarves and baby blankets; and I can’t wait to try more creations! It turned out that the thing I was afraid of – trying (or learning) to sew – was in fact the most joyful part of sewing. Discovering a new pattern, piecing together fabrics, and creating something with my own two hands is so rewarding. I’m so glad I tried it!
Erica, I love this post! I am still trying to find my true passion – especially with blogging. I’m all over the place. Maybe a better word is my true niche. You have built a wonderful blogging community here! 🙂
Thank you so much, Brenda! I do feel like I’m hitting my stride, becoming more comfortable with my voice, but it is always a struggle!
I’m impressed with how you stay up on everything – You must be one busy mama! (I feel like I’m always two steps behind everything, over here!)