I recently noticed myself regularly saying a certain phrase.
“I just need to get through these last few weeks until my youngest is in kindergarten…”
“I just need to get through my husband’s latest trip to China…”
What tipped me off to it in the first place was when I noticed myself thinking this at the beginning of summer:
“I just need to get through summer with all the kids home…”
Get through? Why would I want to “get through” my favorite season? I love summer! The barbecues, the pool days, the beach trips and the family reunions.
But somehow, I wan’t seeing that. Instead I was looking ahead, imagining that after I’d “gotten through it,” I’d be set.
One day I realized—I don’t want “get through” anything. I want to enjoy each stage I’m in.
I wanted to love the last months with my (fiery / sweet) little lady at home. (I took her for mommy-daughter pedicures the very day I decided this. ❤️)
I wanted to savor the unhurried mornings and leisurely outings that summer affords us.
I want to laugh when my kids face off and prance around the room as if they’re professional wrestlers (wearing nothing but their underwear, by the way) readying for an intense match.
I want to smile to myself as I watch my 8- and 9-year-old boys work out together at the gym. Sure, my workout isn’t as effective with all the interruptions, but this time is short.
I want to shake out my shoulders, relax my jaw, and take the moments as they come—the hard ones and the good ones alike.
I want to take “hurry up” out of my vocabulary and practice the art of settling—settling into into each phase of life.
Why would I want to “get through” anything that has the potential to be beautiful if my perspective allows it?
What are you trying to get through right now?
Maybe it’s the sleepless days of new motherhood. Maybe it’s a rough patch with your toddler or that messy, transitional stage with a preteen. Maybe it’s a busy season at work or a season of nonstop sports with your kids.
I know it won’t help you escape the hard parts, but can you look at this stage differently and find beauty in it?
I don’t believe we’re meant to “get through” our lives. It might take a lifetime of practice, but I think we’re meant to sink into the moments and really live the days we’ve been given.
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When I lived in Louisiana I heard a wonderful phrase:
“Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” I try to live by that.
A BEAUTIFUL mantra to live by. Thank you, Tracee!
Hi Erica,
Really enjoyed reading your article. I also have these thougts sometimes. E.g. after an intense day of work and your Kids have that much Energy left and you just want so sleep 🙂
For many of those things one should be grateful and the time frame in which the kids want to spent time with you in this way is short. You only have 18 summers with your Kids, everything has its time. Greetings from Germany
Great to hear from you, Andreas—clear from Germany! Yes, parenting is such a fascinating balancing act: We know we’re human and that sometimes we are most certainly going to wish away some of the hard stages and hard moments, but at the same time, we want to do that LESS. We want to appreciate the time we have.
I love this article! It’s exactly what I keep telling myself on days I don’t enjoy my kids very much. I try to keep calm and remind myself that the time with them will not come back and it will never be the same as it is right now. It’s hard and I don’t always convince myself but it’s sooooo important to me to remember that.
A powerful reminder that I would like to receive each and every day. Today is the only gift we can be assured of. I don’t want to waste one crumb.
Well said, Krista. Thank you!
I’ve had a few rough days with my tribe of four, seven and under. I needed this reminder before heading into tomorrow! Thanks for the encouragement to savor, not stress. ?
I need the reminder—regularly—as much as anyone, Evelyn! Hope you have a better day!! (Go easy on my your cute mom, kiddos!)
Erica, I’m so glad somebody tweeted this–this is *precisely* what I needed to read today! Unlike you, I do not enjoy summer (except for summer fruit!) and do not handle the heat well. I’ve been saying, “I just need to get through this hot weather.” But life is too short to just “get through!”
I get that, Jean! I think it depends on where you live! I’m in Northern California now, where our summers are comparatively mild! I grew up in Arizona, though, so I would probably have NOT said the same thing back then! 😉
As Gretchen Rubin says in “The Happiness Project” : “The days are long, but the years are short.”