One of the women I admire most in the world is someone I don’t even know. I read her blog, 71 Toes. Shawni and her husband are extremely intentional parents, which is what I want to be. And because their kids are older than mine (about 5 to 15), her blog gives me a very real glimpse into how to parent intentionally at different ages. Plus, she takes gorgeous photos!
She recently posted a bunch of photos from her children’s first day back to school. In a post filled with pictures of beautiful, smiling children and reflections from a happy, crazy-busy mama, somehow her readers mainly commented on one arbitrary thing: her 14-year-old daughter’s tank top.
Some of you may have just reread my last sentence wondering, what in the world is wrong with a tank top?!? But if you know many Mormons (and I’m one of them), you may also know that our church tends to talk a lot about modesty, especially for the youth.
The next day, Shawni responded with a beautiful post on conversion and love, which I thought fit so well with my overall theme of letting why you live determine how you live. Rather than get offended over the comments or try to define exactly what modesty means in their family (the how), she chose to focus on the why. The big picture. The heart.
If we do things just because we think we should, we’re missing so much. And if we evaluate other people on how they’re living (not even wondering about their motivations—the why), we’re missing even more. I know that when I am focused on why I live the way I do, it is much harder for me to get caught up in how others are living. Though it is easier said than done, I find peace in keeping my heart trained on my own intentions.
You too?
” I know that when I am focused on why I live the way I do, it is much harder for me to get caught up in how others are living” – Me too!! So often we are quick to judge when we don’t know the whole story. Like, something I read today about the woman who wore a short provocative black dress to church and the blogger was tempted to say something to her. Luckily she didn’t because, unbeknownst to her, that woman’s husband was addicted to p*rn and this way her way of trying to “win back” his affections.
We should always think before we speak and, of possible, try to understand the other person’s “why” before trying to “correct” them.
What an interesting anecdote! You truly never know, do you?! Thanks, Alana!
I just spent like an hour reading her blog! Thanks for sharing. I hope that I can be an intentional, mindful parent.
Its so easy to be quick to make judgements but you did a great job reminding me to take my thoughts one step further and not be quick to assume. Her blog about the whole deal does it beautifully, too.
I’m so glad, Rachel! Her blog is THE best! I talk about Shawni with Ryan as if I know her and she gives me personal advice. 🙂
I love that blog. She has such great insights, and I thought her response to the comments on the first day of school blog was so great as well.
Sweet post! I spent awhile reading on her blog and it’s great. Thanks for the share!
Beautifully put! I think we would all do a little better if we just gave each other the benefit of the doubt.