How to Stop Over-Researching, Make Quicker Decisions, AND Love What You Choose

My husband and I were dating when I caught my first glimpse of his love for over-researching. In our college town was a street lined with chain stores, and I remember driving from one store to another—from the top of that street to the very bottom—as he searched for just the right laptop case.

Granted, this was back when laptops were still a bit bulky to carry and not every backpack on the market came with a built-in laptop sleeve. If you wanted to take your laptop to campus, you needed a product designed just for this.

The thing was—to me, they all looked about the same! Almost exactly the same!

I remember thinking he was a bit… meticulous in his search, but I was young and in love and happy to follow him in and out of a dozen stores just because we were together.

Are You a Chronic Over-Researcher?

Fifteen years later, I laugh at this memory because it really was a window into allllllll of the over-researching I’d see him do throughout our relationship.

I’ve seen him prowl the internet for just the right pocket knife to give to one of our boys; just the right graphic-T to suit his personality; just the right airbnb for our family; just the right investment for our money—and so much more.

Sometimes it comes in handy to be married to an over-researcher, like when I needed to buy a mic to start recording a podcast on. 😉

At other times, though, I can see a decision consuming him, and it’s hard to watch him put so much time and energy into something that probably won’t matter in a year (maybe not even in a month).

Some Decisions Are Worth the Time…

Of course, some decisions are worth the research. Choosing the right educational program for yourself or homeschooling program for your kid. Choosing the right investments for your money or the right stroller for your investment. (Have you seen how many different strollers are on the market? It’s like buying a small car!)

Other Decisions Just Aren’t

Other decisions, though, just aren’t worth that much time and energy.

Do you struggle with indecision and over-researching? It can seem harmless, but if you take a deeper look, you might notice that it’s contributing pretty heavily to your mental load.

The last time I was teaching my main course, Declutter Your Life, one of my students told me that she spends HOURS doing research before she makes almost any purchase. She talked about how hot it is in her kids’ rooms and how much they need fans, but after spending at least six hours trying to find the perfect one, she gave up and now has been putting the decision off for several months.

She feels guilty not just for the time she’s wasted but for how hot her children are at night because of her indecision. (That is not a fun feeling!)

I may have thrown my husband under the bus by using him as my example, but I’ve got my own over-researching tendencies. But over the last few years, I’ve started noticing what a slippery slope it is, and now more often than not, I choose not to go down it at all. 😉

If you struggle with this too, I want to help you open up some time in your schedule and some space in your head by learning to curb the researching, make quicker decisions, and (most importantly) love what you choose.

Lighten Your Mental Load: How to Stop Over-Researching, Make Quicker Decisions, AND Love What You Choose

Here are three thoughts that I hope will help you stop over-researching and make quick decisions that still fulfill your needs and meet your expectations.

1. Confront perfectionism

The next time you start over-researching, ask yourself if perfectionism could be at play here. Sometimes when we expect perfection of *ourselves,* we unintentionally expect it of everyone—and every THING—around us too. And when people or things don’t live up to our standards, we don’t like it! 😬

Slowly and intentionally loosening your grip on perfectionism in all areas of your life can help you accept imperfection in yourself, your loved ones, and even your STUFF. Most of the time, good enough really IS good enough!

PS. We talked a lot about the cost perfectionism and how to let go of it in episode 11, How Does Perfectionism Show Up for You?, so tune in to that episode if you suspect that perfectionism is contributing to your over-researching and indecision.

2. Consider trade-offs

I was knocked over by the concept of trade-offs when I read the book Essentialism. It obviously wasn’t the first time I’d ever thought about trade-offs, but for some reason, when I read about them the way Greg describes them, the idea became a filter for so many of my decisions.

Simply put, time you spend researching is time you could be spending on something that’s a higher priority in your life.

Is the absolute perfect {ceiling fan, concealer, alarm clock, summer camp} worth the minutes and hours you’re trading in search of it?

Greg McKeown describes trade-offs this way: “Essentialists see trade-offs as an inherent part of life, not as an inherently negative part of life. Instead of asking, ‘What do I have to give up?’ they ask, ‘What do I want to go big on?’ The cumulative impact of this small change in thinking can be profound.”

Could you trade some of the time and energy you’re currently spending on research and deliberating for something better? Something more in line with your core values. Could you sacrifice making the PERFECT purchase or the perfect decision for something bigger?

Time playing outside with your kids. Time to pray or meditate before bed. A sunrise hike with your spouse. A long, spontaneous conversation with a neighbor.

What do you really want to go big on?

My third thought to help you get a handle on over-researching and endless deliberating is—

3. Decide to be happy with your choice 🙌

If you want to stop over-researching, decide now to be satisfied with the choices you land on.

Like we talked about in episodes 16 and 17, everything we feel starts with a thought.

If you let your mind nitpick your decision, you’ll be unhappy with it. But on the flip side, if you channel your brain to look for the positive—to be satisfied with “good enough”—your brain will find it.

Decide now to be content with your decision.

This doesn’t mean you’ll love and adore every tiny aspect of the product you buy or choice you make, but if you go into it with a plan to be satisfied, more often than not, you will be.