Our daughters (and sons) may be young, but they won’t be for long.
I’m amazed at what my daughter, at only two years old, soaks in daily. New words, new expressions, new connections. And there’s no one in the world she watches like she watches me.
The other night as I tucked her in, she was chattering away about bath time.
“Trenton take a bath WITH ME! Chase take a bath WITH ME!”
Pause.
“Mommy have her OWN bath.”
You got that right, little lady.
She watches me. What I eat, how I dress, the tone I use with her siblings, the tone I use with her father. She’s my mini-me, and I want nothing more than to be the woman she needs me to be.
That starts with taking care of me. So that someday, when it’s her turn to be the bleary-eyed mother of a newborn, the bone-tired mother of a toddler, the mentally-drained mother of a teenager—she’ll know how to find her center again.
Just like she saw me do a thousand times.
Over the last couple of years, we’ve noticed the word “self-care” popping up everywhere. Every time I encounter it, I think to myself, Self-care isn’t just a list of things to do; it’s a state of mind.
It’s a lens through which you get to see your home, your family, your life.
It stems from an effort to love yourself, to guard your thoughts with care, and to hold your self-worth above everything else.
Self-care isn’t just something you do; it’s the way you think. It’s a way of life.
But of course, life has its special way of throwing us off—derailing us. The 24 practices below are not just more things add to your to-do list. (Heaven knows, I know you have plenty on your plate.) They’re simple practices to help you realign yourself, when the going gets tough, with that lens of self-love you want to see the world through.
24 Self-Care Practices for Mothers
1. Light a candle; breathe it in deeply and deliberately.
2. Read a book, especially one you know fills up your soul, like a conversation with an old friend. (I recommend these! 8 Books to Inspire You to Do Life On Purpose)
3. Have a conversation with an old friend!
4. Climb into your child’s bed before the day even starts for a few minutes of cuddles. Do you know what even six seconds of physical touch can do for you? {32 Ways to Savor Your Children While You Have Them}
5. Inhale deeply the moment you step outside your house. Notice how the morning air smells instead of rushing through it.
6. Create a touch point in your home or at work. A place where whenever you touch it you remind yourself to live in the moment. (Think: the door knob to your bedroom, the threshold of your front door.)
7. Take two minutes to reminisce, either with your kids or on your own, about a fond memory.
“Our dopamine output increases not only when we experience something pleasurable the first time, but again when we remember it… [By reminiscing] we and our children can enjoy more of what we already have.” Goldie Hawn
8. Write about what you’re grateful for in a journal.
9. Start a daily gratitude practice with your family by sharing at the dinner table one thing you were thankful for that day.
10. Take a hot shower or bath. (That’s right, baby girl. Mama has her OWN bath!) Make it more special by lighting a candle, using your favorite scents, or playing mellow music. Check here for 10 of my favorite artists just for this purpose: A Self-Care Playlist.
11. Do a thought download. (It feels good to get it all out!)
12. Try a new make-up technique; it feels good to step outside of your usual routine.
13. Say a prayer before you turn the keys in the ignition. Pray anytime, obviously, but a friend once told me this particular moment is a natural one for her, and I agree. Maybe it will be for you too.
14. Buy a houseplant. Seeing green inside your space every day is surprisingly revitalizing.
15. Try five minutes of meditation. I’m a big fan of the Headspace app.
16. Write in your journal. And remember that there’s no formula for journal writing. Jot down a bulleted list, write about your day, write about how you feel, write a single sentence—just write. (This is a particularly beautiful journal for self-acceptance: Start Where You Are.)
“A word after a word after a word is power.” Margaret Atwood
17. Exercise. Extra credit if you get outside or listen to music that makes you love life.
18. Rub lotion into your hands or feet before you go to sleep.
19. Unplug from social media for as long as you need.
20. To be more specific, unplug completely from the internet one day a week, like Sundays.
21. Hold a warm drink with both hands.
22. Set a weekly intention. Need some mantras to try out? 12 Mantras for Moms Who Want to Love More
23. Schedule some daytime babysitting to do something you rarely do. Like getting a drink at Starbucks and people watching from the window or going to the nearest body of water (my pick is the ocean!) and sticking your feet in.
24. Take a walk, and spend a couple of minutes focusing on a single sensation, like the wind on your face or the way your foot connects with the ground.
Let’s do it for us. Let’s do it for our daughters.
Free Printable!
Need some help making these a part of your daily life? Print the list and hang it somewhere you’ll see it often!
photo credit: Tevi Hardy Photography
Evanthia
Great list, Erica! I keep this little satchel of incense in my kitchen, the type they use at my church, and I’ll periodically stop to smell it when I’m feeling a little frayed. It really does calm me!
Erica Layne
What an awesome one to add to this, Evie! Thanks so much. I think maybe I need to smell some incense right about now, because my sweeties are driving me a little bonkers this afternoon! 😉
Cara
I’m going along the same lines and making an aromatherapy blend to help me stop and relax. I’m hoping to blend with oil and use as a perfume or make a room spritz for a boost.
Erica Layne
Oooh, good one, Cara! Can I come over to your house? 😉
Mandi
What a fantastic list of ideas! I’ve been trying to do better about taking care of myself lately, and I’m definitely going to implement some of these. I’ve found that having an intentional bedtime routine has worked wonders for my sleep quality. Turning off the screens, getting cozy with a good book while diffusing lavender oil… I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it 🙂
Selina
You are wonderful! I’ve just been browsing through pinterest for inspiring and wise words on self-love and stumbled across you. Now signed up to your newsletter 🙂
I’m one of the founders of Project Love (www.loveprojectlove.com) and as a new mama have been really looking at how we keep that up as mamas. You are offering such wise words on it. THANK YOU xxx
Dee
What a wonderful list! I’ve a painting( something I painted awhile back) as my stillness centre. It helps me align whenever life gets a bit too noisy!
Erica Layne
“My stillness centre.” Wow, I love that. I’m going to be thinking about the concept – thank you!
Isobel
Love this list… as a new mum much needed today
Adelle
Love the simplicity of these…
Erica Layne
Thanks so much, Adelle. Seems like simplicity in self-care is essential for moms. For me, at least! Best wishes, and thanks for stopping by!
Wangui
Thankyou for this…. “She watches me. What I eat, how I dress” I can totally relate with this. I have a one year old girl. She’s a mini-me. I want to give the best me too… #GreetingsfromKenya
Amanda
I love this post! People have been asking me recently what I do for myself. My answer is usually….”Sleep?” This list is so much better than that! I just discovered your blog and I’m excited to read more! I love the idea of “Let Why Lead!” This is also a philosophy that I use each day.
Erica Layne
Haha, I love me a good “sleep,” Amanda! 😉 Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I took a peek at your blog and it looks beautiful and meaningful. Keep in touch! -Erica
Jade
Thank you for sharing this Erica – Gratitude practice is such a wonderful idea for families! Lovely blog post, love your images also!
Erica Layne
Thank you, Jade! All the best to you!
Chu
good read to start my Thursday morning. I’m Filipino & a single mom of three—12y.o., 4 and 3. I’m a Nursery teacher and we are starting a new life here in Indonesia.
Thank you….simply thank. You have no idea how glad I am to stumble into something like this in a moment when a lot of things seem lost.