Welcome to Savannah Ivanitski (on Instagram – @sivanitski), writer, wife, and mom of two boys.
I will never say “I don’t have time,” and it’s not because I’m a superhero who has found a way to do everything and be everything.
Most days there are things that don’t get done—to-do items that go unchecked and yes, sometimes even dishes left in the sink. ;)
But it’s not because I don’t have time. It’s because those things aren’t a priority.
I’ve recently been focusing on shifting my perspective, and it’s amazing how when I replaced “I don’t have time” with “It’s not a priority,” things instantly changed.
It’s so easy for me to say I don’t have time to work out, I don’t have time to go on a date with my husband, I don’t have time to cuddle and read two extra stories with my boys.
But would I ever say that it’s not a priority to spend time with my husband? I hope not. And would I ever say that time with my children isn’t important? No.
My relationships with my husband, my children, and myself (hello, self-care) should certainly be a priority in my days. In fact, I would argue that these things are my top priority.
Since our youngest child was born, our family has been desperately seeking our new balance. And as I’m sure every mother knows, that balance is so dang delicate. My husband and I both work full time outside of the home, we have two kids under the age of three, and our weekends are full of adventures, errands, and other commitments. These demands on my time aren’t going to change anytime soon, but lately, my perspective has changed.
Now on Sunday evenings, my husband and I prep our lunches for the week, cooking, talking, and laughing together after the kids have gone to bed. Then after the food is prepared, I sit down by myself with my calendar, and I outline my priorities for the week.
I look at what’s important for my clients, what’s important for my family, and what’s important for me. And I schedule those things out. I make time for what matters most to me, and I write it down.
During the week, I get pulled in a lot of different directions. The last-minute phone call from a client requesting more changes to their brochure design. My two-year-old asking if we can go to the park on the way home from daycare. My husband who needs help completing the latest household project. Instead of asking myself “Do I have time for this?” I ask, “Is this a priority?”
Another example is how I used to think I didn’t have time to work out. Between working ten-hour days and meeting the demands of my family, when was I realistically going to find the time?
Eventually, though, I decided that working out should be a priority for me because I’m happier when I’m working out. I feel better. I have more energy. I’m a better wife and mom. Once my perspective changed and I tried to make working out a priority, I found time to exercise between when the kids go to bed and when I do.
We all carry so many expectations about what it means to be a mother, a professional, and a wife. Having a real heart-to-heart with myself helped me challenge some of those expectations and focus on what really matters to me.
Try it for a week. Instead of telling yourself that you don’t have time, acknowledge that it’s not a priority and see what follows.
photography by Kylie Pond