If you’ve ever been to the beach as a mom, you know it can be surprisingly hard to relax. The baby shoves a handful of sand into her mouth while your preschooler collects feathers (gross) and drapes seaweed around himself like a necklace (also gross).
You’re preoccupied with when to put on the next layer of sunscreen, and heaven knows that within five minutes there is more sand ON your beach blanket than off it.
Because my family is lucky enough to live close to beautiful, Northern California beaches, our family has been making beach trips since our first son was just a few months old. (He’s six now.)
Only last Saturday did I realize how rarely I’ve played at the beach.
Over the years, I’ve relaxed for minutes here and there, when my husband was busy burying the boys or some such thing. But overall, I’ve been guilty of what many of us moms do: overthinking it.
But in the last few months, as I’ve focused on wholehearted living, I’ve become more purposeful about play.
The easiest differentiator, for me, at least, is that play means we are “outside of time.” I love that phrase.
As I watched my boys drag logs to create their “driftwood spaceship,” I was in awe of how completely “outside of time” they were. I actually felt a twinge of envy over how easy it is for them to switch over into the realm of timelessness.
It’s not easy for me anymore. Not at all.
But then I followed Quinn down to the waves, and before long, all of us were up to our knees in the frothy water. Chasing each other, dodging the big ones, lifting the baby at the last minute to avoid a soggy diaper. 🙂
As we trekked across loose sand to get to the parking lot, I thought about how for those 20 minutes, I had been outside of myself. Outside of time. It wasn’t the three hours of play that my kids had gotten in, but it was something.
And it felt amazing.
That’s when I realized that for moms, play may be as much about recognizing it as it is experiencing it.
Let’s look for those “outside of time” moments wherever we can find them.
Amen. I love when I get so lost in an activity that I completely forget my watch. I need to cultivate more and more of those moments. Glad you got to enjoy this one!
It really is! Fun shifts when you have kids to take care of, but it’s still possible! It just takes more consciousness…which I’m not always great at. 🙂 Thanks for your sweet comment!
I’m not a mom yet but I have a lot of nieces and nephews so I somewhat understand. Sometimes when I get left babysitting I forget to have fun with them and go into responsible mom mode. I love how you recognized it and were able to go have fun. Fun is so important! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Sierra! It really is! Your siblings are lucky to have you! I’d take you as a babysitter any chance I got! 🙂
Thats why you are such a cool mom, is cause you can get out there and play with your kids!
I love this and I’m so glad you got to play. I recently read some where a letter from a child to his mother and he listed what he wants from her. One of the things he asked her to do is PLAY MORE. How beautiful. That our children want us to let our hair down and enjoy life with them. Beautiful pictures.
This is the best. Because I am the worst at schedules– aka I live by them. I really wish I were the kind of parent who would be ok with a late bedtime or a missed nap, but no. I live and die by nap times, meal times, bed times, etc. But sometimes making memories is so much more important! I need to play more and lose track of time!
Me too! It gets easier as the babies get older, but yes, I wish I could let go of structure a little more, but i just can’t. Even now, I protect bedtime like a crazy person. It’s the most magical time of day – why push it back?? Oh well. I think we just all have to work within our personalities and challenge ourselves to stretch – but reasonably. 🙂 Love you!
I so needed to read and remember this. Thanks, friend!
This is just what I needed to read. It seems the past few weeks have been go, go, go. I realize, I have not had a chance to “play”. Thanks for sharing, today I will follow your lead and stop to smell the flowers and enjoy the day and not over think, make a ton of list for all the things I have ahead that needs to be planned out.
Hi Jamie! It really is so hard to let go of those racing to-do’s! That’s one of my big problems too. Hope you can grab some “outside of time” moments this weekend!
Yes, let’s!! I find that I have to remind myself more often than not – but that’s okay, because then I do it and have a blast with my wild boy! Love the new header!
In the world of education, we refer to being “outside of time” as “flow,” when a child is so engrossed in their play that they lose all sense of time, and it’s a REALLY important concept for their learning!
I’m with you in finding that it’s surprisingly difficult for me to get that sense of being lost in time, especially when it comes to play. There’s always something “more important” for me to be thinking of or doing. Thanks for the reminder to slow down, Erica!
Thanks for this! It has been more and more of a struggle for me to find these moments, “out of time” moments (I love the phrase) as we have added more little ones. I used to play with our oldest all the time and then when the second was able to sit up I played quite a bit with both of them and really enjoyed it. That second is almost 4 and we now have a 6mo old also, and I have been struggling to enjoy the playing. I have to focus so completely on being in the moment because there have been too many times lately where I sit down to play and the emotion that accompanies it is one of duty and not one of joy….and the “why” of life is joy. Thanks for that reminder. That I can find joy in the moment even when I feel surrounded by “to-do’s”!! Love you, and your insights!
ps. The title to this one is amazing, by the way. It’s amazing how our minds can be on similar planes so often even with the distance that exists between us!
I am right there with ya, girl. I think the busier our minds get (and isn’t that natural as you add more kids to the family?!), the harder it gets to sit in the moment and not be thinking forward. Much love!
I adore your new blog look! SO beautiful! Precious post, my sweet friend!
Erica,
I love this, the play, the pictures, and very thing about it.
love you,
Julia