There are two of you doing this dance. This endless foxtrot of arranging who’s taking the kids to school, waiting to see who will take out the trash first, and playing rock-paper-scissors to see who will do the bedtime routine that night.
It is not exactly the romantic dance you imagined as a teenager. 🙂
The thing is, he works and you “stay home.” You handle permission slips and wounded toddler feelings and misfired pee. You wash three loads of dishes a day and a hundred loads of laundry a week. You don’t actually see what he does, but what you do is constantly staring you in the face.
Sometimes, when he’s home, he’s tired. Man alive, so are you! But all of your to-do’s are still staring you in the face, and it doesn’t seem like he even notices them. So you keep powering through.
After all, you are the giver, and he is the taker.
It’s a rough life, being the giver. No one seems to notice all you do. No one cares how tired you are. But who will fill your shoes? YOU are the giver.
It must be nice, thinking about yourself first, you think as you drag the vacuum around the house.
This thought crosses your mind a time or two—and then crops up more and more.
Until one day you realize you’re not so different. Because even though he’s not dragging the vacuum around at the moment (and you are), you’re still thinking of yourself first. The only difference is that the floor happens to be getting cleaner while you do it.
Turns out, you’re not quite the giver you thought you were. So you put down the vacuum and go snuggle your dance partner.
Tomorrow the dance begins again.
Way to be self aware and do something about it. We could all use a little more of that! Especially since I’ve had these same thoughts running through my head more than once.
Thanks, Rach! I hope you guys have a fun weekend!
Ha! This was me last night. Ben worked late so I had to make dinner and do bedtime alone. Then he got home, ate and plopped on the couch. I was so annoyed that he didn’t offer to clean up the kitchen that when he said he was tired I rattled off everything I had done that day. But we tag teamed the kitchen in the end ;). Good to know we are normal.
Guilty!
What a super reminder!! Thanks so much for sharing!
Hi Mary Leigh! Thanks so much for the sweet words! Enjoy your weekend!
My favorite part “your to-do’s are still staring you in the face”. This is exactly right. When I leave work then I am forced to leave it all behind. When I’m home “away from work” I see all the things that need to be done at home where the to-do’s are never ending.
Yes, Ashley! Working outside of the home brings a whole ‘nother set of to-do’s, which means that you see to-do’s wherever you go! That is hard! All we can do is our best, and sometimes things have to slide for a season. Good luck, girl! (And thanks so much for commenting!)
Thanking you so much right now for being real. I just took a deep breath! I love your blog!!!
This is me all. the. time. I pray for patients and the grace to have some self-reflect in those moments. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the woe is me, he has it so easy, yada-yada.. Thanks for this! Makes me feel normal and not so bad 🙂
I know it’s kind of selfish to say that I’m so glad that you’re like this too, but I am, simply because it’s reassuring that I’m not the only one. 🙂 Thanks so much for commenting, Colleen!