I’ve felt it more times than I can count—the pull to end a conversation prematurely, to back out of a get-together with friends, or to simply leave when I should stay.
I’ve noticed lately that I’m almost always the person in my conversations who ends them.
“It was great to see you!” I say.
“It was so good to catch up!”
After that, I’m safe to retreat to my own personal space, where small talk isn’t necessary, where I don’t stumble to get the right words out of my mouth.
For those of us who are introverts, mom friendships can be especially hard to come by. We long for close companionship, but getting there? That is not easy.
Over and over I hear from women different variations of— “I want a close friend, but how?”
In our Facebook group for introverted moms, we’ve seen dozens of posts along these lines:
“I find it really difficult to click with other people. I don’t have anyone I would call a best friend, though I find myself really wanting that kind of close connection in a friendship. I’m now 43 and have never been able to connect with a friend on that level. I just don’t ‘people’ well, and it makes me sad.” Lisa A.
“I like being alone, but I want someone to be alone with, if that makes sense.” Amy M.
“Is anyone else desperate—sometimes painfully so—for that special emotional connection with someone other than your spouse/partner? I feel like out of every fifty people I meet, I might click with one, but I am still longing for that total emotional connection and understanding. Like a best-friend-slash-soulmate? Is it just me?” Alex N.
That last one was followed up by 44 comments from women saying it isn’t just her, and I have to agree.
Photo by Sara Garza and Project Mother Co
We need each other.
Motherhood is hard, and introverted motherhood is uniquely challenging. We need close friends to process our feelings with, pull each other out of slumps, support us through the difficult seasons, and even just keep us company when we don’t feel much like talking but could use the steady presence of a friend.
If you’re echoing what Lisa, Amy, and Alex shared above, I’d love to send you my free video:
A Crash Course in Making Mom Friends as an Introvert ?
I’ll share (1) simple conversation tools to help you feel more comfortable during those initial conversations with a potential new friend, (2) how to stop worrying so much about being liked, and (3) how to look at your introversion less as a stumbling block in your friendships and more as a strength.
I take the very last minute to introduce my ecourse Talked Out, Touched Out: Learn to Thrive as an Introverted Mom, which I would LOVE for you to join if the introverted-mom struggle is real for you. ❤
But first, the video! Pop your email address in below to have it sent straight to your inbox. (You’ll also be first to know when registration for Talked Out, Touched Out reopens!)
All the best!
Erica
Beautiful photos curtesy of Sara Garza and Project Mother Co.
That introverted mom facebook group is giant! What a great support system there (and is that crazy for you to manage?). I love the video–you have great ideas and make great points. Being a mom (and being an introvert!) can be isolating, so this is important stuff.
Thanks, Rachel!! No, the group pretty much runs itself! I just have to go through the requests and sort out any profiles that look like spammers, but once everyone’s in there, they support each other! I’m so glad you enjoyed the video!