You might guess from the title that this post is about the development of my boys, but you would be wrong. This post is about moms growing up.
On Tuesday, my girlfriends and I met at a park to throw an Easter egg hunt for our kids. The little ones (the oldest was five) chased each other on the playground while we moms tossed candy-filled eggs into a grassy field. Then we gathered the kids and sent them running into the field. My youngest was content with one egg in his basket; I had to prompt him to look for more. My oldest filled his basket within a couple of minutes and was extremely proud of that fact.
After the kids had applied their chocolate lip liner (aka, eaten some candy) and returned to the jungle gym, one of my friends announced that we were official moms know that we had thrown an Easter egg hunt. That launched a conversation about how sometimes we can’t believe we are moms. Some days it feels like we were just teenagers, looking up to women who are my age now and thinking that they were SO much older, just by nature of the fact that they were married—to a boy!—and had given birth—to a baby! Those seem like HUGE milestones when you’re 16, but in reality they come one day, one decision, at a time. So slowly, in fact, that one day you wake up (or throw an Easter egg hunt!) and wonder how in the world you grew up.
When I sit down to eat lunch with Trenton, I look at those lively blue eyes and imagine how I look from his perspective. I look to him like my mom looked to me as I was growing up. I didn’t see her as a person until at least my late teens—and probably not entirely until I became a mother myself.
Isn’t it strange how quickly the tables turn?
Linked up with Richella at Imparting Grace. I love the concept behind her link parties, entitled “Grace at Home.” Welcome to any first-time visitors! Please leave a comment so I can come visit you at your blog!
Great post, Erica. I admit I did not really feel like an adult until I had a child. There is something about taking on responsibility for the very life of another person, every moment of every day, that brings one to a different sort of maturity. Perhaps that type of maturity can come about in other ways for different people, but for me, it did not even begin to arrive until my child was born. This is not to say that I have reached some great summit of personal maturity, but I have certainly developed, and continue to develop, in ways I never might have imagined because of my experiences as a mother.
Thanks, Leigh, for the thoughtful comment! I agree wholeheartedly that being utterly responsible for another life will mature you like nothing else!
Love this blog! Josh and I don’t feel old enough at all to be parents, and in a way I think that
makes me a better mom. I can’t take myself too seriously and I think it’s easier to find joy in the small things. My mom has said that sometimes her and my dad have those moments and wonder how on earth they grew up enough to be empty nesters.
Now that I think about it, not taking yourself too seriously is crucial to enjoying motherhood! Otherwise you’ll just be stressed about whether you’re doing everything just right. And that is so cute that K&J still have the same kind of moments!
This is true. I’m so excited to be a mom but at the same time it is crazy overwhelming to have the life of another person in your control! It makes me so thankful for my own parents and makes me really get it. A friend and I were recently talking about feeling so imperfect and incapable to be parents—and then realizing that our own parents aren’t perfect, either, and they did a great job! (Especially when you put this in the context of all the messed up teenage girls I work with and all the sad/messed up traits their parents pass on to them). A few little issues (that I remember were thinking so huge when I was a teenager) hardly matter at all and it makes me feel so much better to think I’m not perfect and that I can teach my children that! Anyway, I hope that makes sense. Good blogging. 🙂
You are speaking my language. I waited until my 30s to have children, and I’m blessed to be among a circle of friends who did the same, so I often assume I’m still young because my friends and I all have young children. But then I consider that when my mom was my age, I was a teenager. And I looked at her not necessarily as old but as all-knowing and wise. I am so aware of my shortcomings and failures, yet I am shaping reality for my children. It’s a weighty responsibility. Sometimes I wonder who that grown-up is that keeps staring back at me in the mirror!
There have been several times over the years when I’ve thought, “The mom needs to do _________ around here.” And then I catch myself and think, “Oh, wait. I AM the mom.” It takes you aback, doesn’t it? You make a great point about the way our kids see us!
Now I’m transitioning into that stage of life when my kids are grown. My oldest will be 21 in May–and it seems like just a short time ago that I was getting together with other young moms to throw Easter egg hunts. I guess I’ll have to “grow up” into the role of mother of adult children, huh?
Thank you SO MUCH for joining Grace at Home and for your kind words. I really appreciate it!!
Thanks for hopping over, Richella! It’s awesome that you have still have to remind yourself that you ARE the mom. 🙂 You are so darling; it is impossible to believe your children are reaching adulthood. I really your blog!
Erica- this is amazing! It’s true when you said you don’t know your mom entirely until you become a mom! I loved this! Have a wonderful day!