For the most part, I write here about trying to figure it all out. The discovery process of being a mother. BUT, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve, and lately, I’ve been thinking I might as well share them! So here’s the first . . .
Months ago, I read a simple bedtime tip that has transformed how both the boys and I feel about that customarily dreaded hour. The tip? Prepare your children for bed as you normally would, but after the routine is over, tell them that they are welcome to play, as long as they stay in their room.
Every night, the boys and I brush teeth, read stories, say prayers, maybe even sing a song or two—but they don’t drag their feet, because they know playtime isn’t really over. When we first instituted the idea, I told them they could play until they were ready to be tucked in. After about 30 minutes, Chase, our 2 1/2-year-old, would wander out, saying, “I’m ready to get tucked in!” (So cute! And seriously, SO much easier when they think it is their idea!)
Now that they’re several months older and are used to the routine, I actually say as I leave their room, “When you’re ready to go to sleep, just turn off the light and hop in bed!” And you know what?? They do! Lately they’ve been playing together for up to an hour and a half, but when they’re finally beat, they go down on their own. Sometimes we find them with the lights on, tucked away in their beds. Other nights they turn the light off. One time we found them both jammie-less, with the younger one out cold on the floor! (Trenton told me the next morning that they got hot from all the playing. 🙂
It isn’t always flawless. Even though they know they’re supposed to stay in their room, sometimes they invent excuses to come out, as all kids do. 🙂
But overall, they’re surprisingly compliant, and I love that they have some time to bond as brothers and to get creative without adult input. I switch out the accessible toys every few days, and I never know how I’ll find their room the next morning! They’ve built zoos, dump sites, towers, fire stations, car ramps, and even a giant diaper. (According to them, that pile of pillows in the bottom right picture is a giant diaper. Kids are so random!)
Granted, this might work especially well for us because our kids share a room. But depending on your child’s personality, he or she may still respond well! I think even if my younger boy were in his own room, he’d still do great. (He’s the more independent player of the two.)
My favorite perk of this method? I’m typically “off duty” about an hour earlier than I normally would be!
If you have any questions, feel free to fire away!
I just barely started doing this with (25 month old) Henry! He seems to do alright with it, some nights he wants to go to bed rather than play, and other times he plays for as long as 45 minutes. I tell Henry we are all having quiet time. It stopped his daily nighttime tantrums. I can’t wait for my two boys to be in the same room and enjoy playing together.
Yay, Kendall! I’m glad to hear you’re doing it too. It’ll only get better as Charlie catches up to Henry. 🙂
ANYthing to avoid those nighttime tantrums, right?!
We have a struggle every night. Last night, Soren came out probably 10 times! It took about an hour and a half for him to finally stay in his room. So I will definitely be trying this – and finishing the bedtime routine by 7:30 every night. (9:30 p.m. is way too late for a 3 year old to go to bed, and that’s how late it was last night!) I really need that “me” time in the nights, especially when Dad doesn’t get home until late.
Ooh, I find it’s so hard to be patient after I’ve deemed myself off the clock! Up to 9:30, I might be losing it! 🙂 Do your boys share a room? Or, how is Soren at playing independently? I hope it works for you!
It’s so funny, because I’ve been doing something like this for about 2 years with Kennedy, who’s 7 now. I actually always kind of thought of it as bad parenting on my part, but really, it helps me stay semi-sane so I keep it up. She has a TV in her room that she can only play DVDs on so at bed time we started having “movie time”. She gets to go up to her room at about 7:30 and put on whatever show on DVD she wants to watch, then she usually draws or writes something in a notebook, or cuts bits of paper into a million pieces. Around 8:3o or 9 she yells down the stairs “What time?” and we say “8:46!” or whatever and she says “Beddy Bye!” She always says beddy bye no matter what time it is and she always asks to be tucked in way before we would normally be able to get her asleep by. It’s kind of amazing, and she doesn’t really even watch the TV!
That’s awesome, Courtenay! So cute that she yells out “Beddy Bye” and wants to be officially tucked in. Those will be fun memories for you guys!
we unintetionally started doing something similar about a year ago when we switched my son to a toddler bed. He was too young to understand staying in bed (18 mos & climbing out of EVERYTHING we tried putting him in) and so he would have free reign of his room. I thought he would end up playing all night, but it actually works great. He would play for awhile before daylight savings time happened and it was actually dark in his room at bedtime.
I don’t let him have control of the light switch though. It wakes him up in the night if it’s left on, and that’s not cool 😉 Now that it’s dark in his room he often sings to his stuffed animals or will play his toy harmonica until he falls asleep. so cute!!!
great tip! !!! I found you through your comment on my blog, and I’m so glad you stopped by so that I could find you! I’m your newest follower 🙂
Thanks for hopping over, Paula, and for your thoughtful comment! That’s awesome that you used the natural light / dark to help your little guy regulate. I think I’d do the same if mine weren’t big enough to reach the light switch! haha
And it’s so cute that he sings or plays a harmonica in bed!
I LOVE it! Great idea!!