I read Love Warrior within the first week of its release, because… Glennon! I have so much respect for Glennon Melton Doyle as a person and an online voice. Her way of drawing analogies, using humor, and tackling hard-hitting subjects like mental health, addiction, parenting, sex, and body image is captivating, to say the least.
Love Warrior sounds every bit like Glennon, and I loved it for that. But overall, I had surprisingly mixed feelings about the book.
First of all, it’s definitely a memoir. It’s not a self-help or research-based book. It’s personal. VERY personal. From that stems my biggest hesitancy: I believe deeply in getting vulnerable with the people you’re close to, but I wasn’t as comfortable with Glennon getting so vulnerable—so open about her intimate life—with such a wide audience. I kept getting distracted by my curiosity about how her husband felt about the book!
Second, she delves into some incredibly interesting and insightful topics that could each have taken a whole book to explore, but because it’s all threaded together by her personal, chronological story, she doesn’t dive too deep into any particular one.
That aside, if you’re interested in causes of addiction, the mind / body connection, or recovering from betrayal, I would not hesitate to point you to this memoir. I took away some real gems and am happy to share five of them today.
5 Takeaways from Love Warrior
1. “There on that couch in our pajamas, just for a few moments, we fall in to love.”
Could love be a place you can tumble into, over and over? Could that be what we really mean when we say we’ve “fallen in love?”
I find this a hopeful thought. Instead of feeling like you either are or you aren’t “in love,” like it’s so definitive, so black and white, and most of all, so fleeting and beyond our control, maybe love is a place you can fall into a thousand times—and on purpose—with a person you’ve committed to.
2. “People who are hurting don’t need avoiders, protectors, or fixers. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in helpless vigil to our pain. There on the floor I promised myself that I’ll be that kind of mother, that kind of friend.”
Beautiful!
3. “Our pain is not the poison. The lies about the pain are.”
The lies: You’re supposed to be happy all the time. Everybody else is! Avoid the pain by buying this or going there or drinking that.
The truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts not because you’re doing it wrong but because it hurts for everybody. Let the pain come, let it go, “let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”
4. We can choose to be perfect and admired or real and loved.
“If we choose to be perfect and admired, we have to send our representatives out to live our lives.” Being real is risky, because we have to send our real self out to people, and we get hurt. But it’s better than never being known.
5. Sexiness is confidence that you are who you were made to be.
Fake sexy is hiding; real sexy is taking off your costumes and just being yourself. I felt like Glennon’s definitions of beauty and sexiness could easily be drawn out to a book of their own. They are powerful, especially for parents of girls.
So has anyone else read it? I’d love to hear your thoughts if you have!
Sidenote: I’m thinking of making this “5 takeaways” thing a regular thing! Five takeaways from any popular nonfiction I read. (I did it here, with Essentialism.) LMK if you like it!
I like this! Thanks for the good summary. I’ve been wondering about this book. These are really great nuggets of wisdom. I especially like number 2. And you are one of my top people who is just there for me in my pain! Especially as women, I think we just need someone to understand sometimes and say “yeah, that’s really tough.” So thanks. 🙂
YES. I WANT to be one of your people – to just sit there with you. And you with me. Thank you, Rach. I love you!
Hi! This is my first time commenting, but I had to because . . . Glennon! She says exactly what I need to hear in this season of my life as a mom, wife, women, sister, friend, daughter, everything. I “read” Love Warrior by listening to it on Audible during my work commute – I love hearing books read by the author and hearing where she puts the emphasis and emotion. Anyway, I’ve read it through twice already and I would recommend you give it a 2nd read. The 1st time I read it, I was really wrapped up in the story of her journey and their marriage and wondering how it would all turn out. It distracted from all the take-aways and amazing gems of life advice/reflections/revelations/truths in this book. After the 1st read-through I was disappointed that it didn’t read more like the essays we are used to from her. But I LOVED it the 2nd time. When I wasn’t wrapped up in the story I was able to really listen to everything else – and that’s where the good stuff is, and there is a lot of it!
PS. I really like the 5 take-aways thing – I would say to keep it going.
Girl, this is a GOOD recommendation. I DO think I would get even more out of it on a second read; what a great idea!
And I love what you said about being a first-time commenter because…Glennon! She inspires real devotion in people. 🙂 (I need to figure out how to do that! haha)
You comment ANYtime you want. I love hearing from you. 🙂
Love your five take aways! I haven’t read this yet but I did just finish her Carry On, Warrior based on your reading list recommendation. Loved it. Makes me want to be a little more real and vulnerable as well as empathetic and compassionate. Thank you!!
Makes me happy to hear that you read—and enjoyed—a book from one of my lists! You summed up Glennon and her messages very well with those words: real, vulnerable, empathetic, and compassionate. <3
Loved your takeaways.
I wrote my review on Goodreads – have a read if you scroll down about 4 books https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/4836277?shelf=read
I’m off to read your Essentialism one now, another I’ve read!