Guys, am I adequately conveying my enthusiasm about family purpose statements?! I don’t think there is a better place to start if we’re going to build strong family identities.
When we talked last week about why and how to make one, I told you that ours is a work in progress. Eventually, I want our kids to play a big role in creating it, because I think magic happens when kids take ownership. But until they’re old enough, Ryan and I are gathering ideas and letting a few concepts help us guide our family. I thought today I’d share what we’ve come up with (it took us about a month) and a bit about each phrase.
Seek Beauty and Adventure
When we first got married, we both had adventure streaks: mine for travel and his for the outdoors. For a long time, I didn’t think my interest in Europe and his interest in a campsite were particularly in line. As it turns out, what drives both of our adventure streaks is something we share—a love of beauty. We can work with that. 🙂
We hope to share the rush of beauty and adventure with our children. It’s a rush that takes you out of the relatively small life you are wrapped up in and reminds you of the much bigger view God has of you and all of His children.
Live Lightly
We’re not true minimalists, but we’re thoughtful about what we buy and what we keep. We want our family to invest in people and experiences, not things. I hope our children learn the quiet freedom of not being laden by their possessions.
Think Big
In any personality test my husband takes, he comes out as some version of a divergent thinker every time. (And if you’re thinking of the book, I don’t mean he jumps off trains. 🙂 He sees a dozen angles at an issue when I see two; he obeys rules that are based in morals and doesn’t sweat the rest. Whether or not our kids directly inherit this trait, I hope we can foster a family culture where we debate issues just for fun and ask big questions of our faith because that’s what makes us grow. We want our children to know that we are the masters of our own minds.
Do Hard Things
We want the hard things we’ve done (from hiking a mountain to moving to a new city) to become pillars in our family—experiences we talk about often and pull strength from.
Live with Passion
We want to fill our lives up with activities and people that inspire us. Currently we live in building with a lot of people who in their old age seem to be missing that. Some have no children, and as far as we can tell, few deep interests or close connections. We want our lives (and those of our kids) to be filled with things that interest, motivate, challenge, and uplift us.
There’s more we could squeeze in, but we tried to focus on the values that are really “us” at this stage of our lives. I don’t feel any pressure to get it just right since I know it’ll evolve over the years. But I do think we’re hitting on the essence of our family, and I’m excited to see these values become a deep part of our family culture over time.
Right now, if you were to name one value your family holds on tight to, what would it be? I think it’s fascinating how different (but equally awesome) things make each family tick.
Update! Our family modified our statement with the help of our kiddos! You can read the updated version in an ebook I have on amazon now!
This is wonderful! Right now, the little guy in our house is struggling with the whole “live lightly” concept. It seems Grandpa and Grandma have helped him equate buying with having fun and love, and we didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until recently. I think one thing that’s pretty strong around our home is adventure/exploration. We really want our kids to not fear the unknown, but get themselves acquainted with it – whether it be treading new ground, checking out a new bug, or meeting new people. 🙂
Okay, first I’ve gotta say that when I first read this, I thought you were referring to your husband, not your son! haha. But yeah, the little guy loving goodies from Grandpa and Grandma makes a lot more sense. Who could blame him? 🙂
I love that you’re with us about adventure. I can never manage much adventure for my kids during the week, but I’m grateful I have my husband to help us make it happen on the weekends. You have a great (short) week!
This is so great!! I’ve been thinking about what we could do as a family to work on our family goals/messages. I love the think big aspect of your family statement. I think we’ll work on this and get our own family purpose statement!!
“Think big” definitely fits with you and Josh, too, so feel free to steal it! At first we played around with something along the lines of “be independent thinkers,” but I ended up going with “think big” since it’s a little less specific. It can kind of apply to dreaming big, too, and I like that.
I’d love to hear about what you come up with!
Btw, I hear there’s a chance we will overlap in Utah for a day or two! Right at the very beginning of July. I sure hope so!
I love how you made your family statement with a photo; I hope you from this or put it on canvas!
I’ve never quite thought of having a family purpose statement, but I really am liking it. I have no idea where I’d even start though. I’ve read your posts, but it seems like such a big undertaking to take on. I’m going to start trying to brainstorm though, because like I said, I love the idea. We LOVE camping over here so I know something with nature will be one.
Your “live lightly” made me think of something. Do your kids have a lot of toys? I’ve read many times so many different things regarding less is more and just the opposite. I, personally, don’t buy a whole lot of toys for my boys. I just feel like toys really just cause messes moreso than anything else. But maybe that’s just me. My boys would much rather be outside or doing something else. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom though because they don’t have a lot of toys when I see my friends kids bedrooms overflowing with toy kitchens, dress up, puzzle galore, barbies, books, little action figures etc.
Hey girl! Sorry I wasn’t quicker getting back to you, but YES, TOYS! They are kind of the bane of my existence. 🙂 The boys are pretty well trained to keep most of them in their room (I am unfortunately too uptight to have block and lego creations spread throughout the living room), but the baby right now is kinda killing me with her mission to pull everything out and leave it on the ground. 🙂 I swear my kids (especially when they were younger, like Quinn’s age) don’t even play with them; they just grab them and leave them out.
But I can also relate to that little pang of guilt when my boys LOVE visiting other people’s houses because they have so many toys. That happens to us all the time. So much that I think I’m becoming used to it. 🙂 And I think you’re right – We’re all happier having other adventures. Toys aren’t everything.
I did a guess post along these lines, so feel free to check it out: http://havenhelpus.com/how-to-be-a-mom-and-a-neat-freak-at-the-same-time/
Then about the family statement, I’m going to be sharing more examples slowly, but here is a GREAT post if you need more direction: http://theartofsimple.net/back-to-the-basics-create-a-family-mission-statement/. She gives a little formula for creating one, as well as 20 really fun and specific questions to get you thinking about what your family’s core is. Good luck, and please let me know if you write a draft! I’d love to hear it! (Also, sorry for the novel!)
Thank you for that link of the family purpose statement. I printed it out and I am excited to go through the questions with my husband. 🙂
I love yours. It is so perfect for your family and for the personalities of you and Ryan. Definitely plays to your strengths. I look up to you guys and your little family. Not sure what ours would be…but something to think about!
Thanks, Rach! It’s fun having you read it because you DO know both of our personalities so well. Better than most anyone. I love you! I’m so glad I get to share motherhood and marriage with you! (Btw, our text conversations and photo exchanges these days are really brightening my days!)
Hooray for a mission statement! Good, good thinking! Your family is lucky to have such a thoughtful, purposeful mother at the helm! Keep up the good work!
THIS. this is why we started making our signs.
we wanted our family to be ever aware of the mission/vision of our family.
i love this, erica.
Love this. You are a fortunate family to be focused on such important ideas.
Hubby and I just returned from a couples retreat where we focused on the mission statement for our family and goals for the year.
Our value kept recurring as “respect” respect one another, ourselves, the earth, all things.