I know I’ll miss these years, too. Just like I miss the early days of Ryan and Erica.
I wrote that line in 2007, two years after Ryan and I were married. I was looking back on the euphoria of our dating days and looking forward to the excitement of adding a baby to our family. Three months pregnant, deep in an Indiana winter, I was eager to be in any phase other than the one I was in, but I knew I should try to appreciate the present.
Turns out I was wrong, thinking I would miss those years.
I don’t.
We argued over driving directions on our honeymoon. (OUR HONEYMOON!) We could not for the life of us figure out how to share household maintenance. We endured one heck of a roller coaster of pregnancy.
We had doubts about each other and ourselves.
At one point (definitely when I was pregnant!), I decided we were just not compatible. It was the most disheartening conclusion I have ever drawn.
Do you know one thing that surprised me about marriage? The newlywed stage isn’t bliss for everyone.
Oh and one more thing?
Just because it started that way doesn’t mean it will stay that way.
If someone had told me the night I slept in our car—because I was too frustrated to possibly share the same space as my husband—that I would glimpse the bigger picture sooner than I thought, I would have held on to those words like a lifeline.
If someone that night had told me that, so gradually I’d barely notice it, I would stop asking God why He let us come together because I could finally see why myself—I would have taken my pillow, locked up the car, and gone back up to our apartment.
Because usually, when you’re in it, all you see is the mess.
But at some point down the road, whatever the outcome, you’ll see—
It was never random.
Ryan + Erica, 2005
Linked up with Grace at Home, Wifey Wednesdays, and On Your Heart.
So glad you didn’t give up on it and that in the end it was able to work out. It is always so hard when in a moment to be able to see the light and way out. Thank you for the comment on my blog, loving what i see of your site so far! #Sitsblogging
This pulled at my heart strings! SO LOVELY! Have a wonderful love day tomorrow!
Thanks for being honest about the fact that marriage can be hard, even in the early stages! My newlywed years were difficult too. But perseverance, forgiveness and hard work have helped us make it to 16 years! Adding your blog to my Bloglovin’ feed! Stopping by from #SITSBlogging.
Due to the economy, three weeks before we got married Devin was turned down for internships in the areas we originally applied near family for summer. We ended up having to choose to live separately (and cross country) the first 3 months of our marriage. It allowed us to not have to go into debt while I was student teaching and those savings kept us strong until we moved here. It was so incredibly hard and it really removed any bit of newly wed bliss, but it taught us how to communicate. I think it took us a year to get over that, but now we are, and I see why it has benefitted us. Would I choose it again? NEVER, but Devin had a year where he had to travel 50% after we moved here and I would have never known how to cope with it if I hadn’t already developed those skills.
Oooh, I love this, Autumn. I often think something similar. My husband worked a LOT for the first five years of our marriage. We were living in a new place, away from family, so I was kind of forced to make friends and become more independent as a wife and a mom. I didn’t see that at the time as a blessing, but now I certainly do.
I love how you helped me apply this “it was never random” concept to life in general, not just my relationship.
SO good to hear from you. I hope you’re doing well! (Did you go private with your blog?)
I LOVED this post the first time and love it again the second time. So raw and true for many.
Thanks for re-sharing.
I’m so glad, Katie. It’s definitely not my easiest one to re-share, so thanks for your sweet words!