My list of wants in life is long. I want a garage, so I don’t have to carry a gigantic sleeping toddler across a parking lot and down a flight of steps just to get him home. I want a yard, where I can garden and my boys can get muddy. I want closet doors that don’t come off their tracks. I want a kitchen that is not older than I am.
My material wants stare at me day after day. After all, I can’t exactly avoid my kitchen!
Recently I noticed my husband mentioning potential new jobs more often than normal. After a month or two, it occurred to me that all the jobs had one thing in common: a bigger paycheck.
My wants, which I am quick to put a voice to, were staring him in the face too.
Comfort is alluring. It is easy to think that surrounding yourself with beauty and convenience will make you happy. That’s what I’m unintentionally telling myself every time I curse one of those closet doors and imagine a life without them.
I don’t want my husband’s career to be driven by money. Or comfort. I would honestly rather live in a fixer-upper forever than see my husband feel unfulfilled in his career. And as emotional and exhausting(!) as moving is, I would rather he follow his dreams to wherever they take us than stay in one place because his wife got comfortable.
Besides, I have some other wants. I want to live a life that is bigger than I could design myself. (And by “bigger” I don’t mean showy, just meaningful.) I want to teach my children about a loving Heavenly Father. I want to know the scriptures better than I do. I want to change the world, or at least my little family. 🙂
These wants don’t take center stage, like the material ones often do. And achieving them will involve some discomfort. But I’d much rather have Love or Truth or Faith for a master than Comfort.
The lust for comfort: that stealthy thing that enters a house a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master.” Kahlil Gibran
Amen! My perspective on this changed greatly once I had a child too. Quitting work so that I could stay at home with her and not use my paycheck to just pay for child care. Making the adjustment to one paycheck and knowing we couldn’t make it work challenged me to find a way to work at home. Sometimes choosing sacrifice gives us more life lessons than being in a situation where sacrifice is the only option.
Love this post (and see how I’m finally posting a response rather than just thinking about it!!). We are (generally) so much more in tune with our physical wants than our spiritual/emotional ones. The thing, too, about material comforts is that there’s always more to want: it’s a hole that can never be filled. You live in a mansion – but wouldn’t it be nice with a vacation home in Italy? etc, etc
Maybe the only way to fill that hole is with contentment. And with meaning, purpose, and direction that isn’t so tied to things.
Thank you for the reminder, Erica! Love you and your beautiful brain! =P
Thanks, Angelica! It’s great to hear from you! Material wants really are a hole that can never be filled. Perfect description. (But may I occasionally borrow your vacation home in Italy? j/k)
Love you too!
I can so relate to this! It’s especially difficult to remain content when you enjoy organizing and decor, like I do. But, I do try to practice thankfulness. I find when I do that, things don’t seem to bother me as much anymore.
Great post!!
What a powerful post! It is hard when your kids are small, a career is relatively new, and the bills are piling up. You have it all in perspective and I’m so glad to hear the respect for your husband shining through your post. That is so important for a strong marriage. That quote-OUCH.
Thank you so much, Susan! You hit it right on the head for me. Not knowing where life will take us a year or two from now, much less ten, is a challenge! But it’ll all work out like it should, even with a little discomfort! haha
I always really appreciate your comments. Thank you!
Totally mirroring us right now! We were looking for a house because I *need* another bedroom and a backyard (the line between need and want really is pretty thin in this situation), but we are still kind of far from affording it. It took hearing my daughter wishing for a mansion to remind me that my complaining does more than just make me sad. And same thing with David- looking for other jobs, contemplating working more hours… as we drove by a mansion in our ward and Adalyn sat in the back wishing for their swingset, I said, “Your dad and I made the decision a few years ago that we would rather you had a daddy that was home than a swingset.” It sucks that the decision has to be made sometimes, and I do hope someday she can have both. But for now, we’ll just keep doing the best we can and being happy for what we have now, because it really is so much.
Those are hard lessons to teach because they’re hard ones for us mom just to learn! I love that story though. It is so sweet and open and honest! But life is long! They’ll time for it all. Love ya!
“Your dad and I made the decision a few years ago that we would rather you had a daddy that was home than a swingset.”
What a perfect way to put it! Especially to a child. Good for you for teaching her young that time spend with family is always worth sacrificing material things!
I just love all of this. The posts. The comments. So true!
You are a wonderful wife Erica to say that you would sacrifice so that your husband would be fulfilled. Amazing post
Yes. I understand this. We are rowing in the same boat, Erica. Beautiful thoughts.
I’m so grateful for you, friend. So many times you put into words exactly what I wish I could say. And you always seem to be going through similar experiences at the same time I am! I have encountered much of what you mentioned as we’ve bought our new home and experienced the slippery slope of, “well now we need …” when I should just be over-the-top grateful for a new home and the opportunity to have one at a time when that is such an illusive dream to so many people. Thanks for sharing. You are a grounding influence in my life. Miss you.