It comes down to one simple reason.
I’m tired.
I think it goes with the territory for, oh, twenty years or so when you are a parent.
When our boys were little, only my husband or I could put them down for the night. So we’d plan to have a friend or a babysitter come over after they fell asleep.
So on a Friday night, at the end of a tiring week, I’d hurry around tugging little bodies into footy pajamas and trying to read stories WHILE curling my hair. (Well, practically anyway.)
I’d put them to bed—fervently hoping they’d fall asleep easily—and then change into real clothes without making a sound. I’d make sure the house didn’t look like a wreck for the sitter, and then Ryan, who was working long hours, would get home right as the sitter arrived, and we’d head out into the night.
I’m sure I was great company on those dates. Exhausted but wearing enough concealer to cover the bags under my eyes, my body filled with the tension of getting everything just right before we left.
To top it off, we we were paying money to relax without kids—which we would have been doing at home anyway, with the kids breathing deeply in the other room.
Then the day date was born.
We could pay a babysitter and actually get a break from the childrearing for a few hours. She would give them lunch and wipe sticky hands while Ryan and I would, for once, eat lunch without half of it ending up on the floor. Or we would go on a bike ride or on a hike, things you can’t easily do on a Friday night.
I’d have energy and we’d come home happy to see our kids, having had just enough time to miss them.
So now we spend our Friday nights at home with our no-bake cookies, hulu plus, books, and Ted talks.
We’ll leave datenight to the parents with more energy. 🙂
Station 22, a cafe we stole away to for a quick day date last time we were in Utah.
Click here for a post I wrote two years ago, right about when we discovered the day date. 🙂 10 Ways to Keep Dating—Even After You Have Kids.
Are you still rocking datenight?
Linked up with Grace at Home and On Your Heart.
Yes to the day date! We go during our son’s nap time. They are 2 and 8 months and we know we *might get a good 2 hours in that way. Sigh. We try. But we only go out when my mom or my mother-in-law can keep them.
BTW I have come from the SITS Girls comment love.
Hi Lydia! Thanks so much for your comment! I can totally relate to those months and years where the kids are so little you can’t steal away for long. Now that we have a baby again (10 months), I start itching to get before too long.
Have a great day!
So my hubby and I came to the realization that date days work better for us versus date night during my last pregnancy. I was like…what took us so long? Since my daughter is in playschool a few days a week and when hubs is not traveling he works from his home office. Problem is, we had this revelation when I was about 7 months pregnant with our second. Ha. So if we do go somewhere during the day now, we now have an infant tagalong.
Well at least your little tagalong is darn cute! We only manage our day dates on the occasional Saturday or when we’re visiting family and can sneak away for a couple hours. I take it you don’t live near either of your parents?
Eating without half ending up on the floor? What a luxury!
We just discovered the lunch date too! And since we are doing daycare, it’s pretty much free time way. Win win
We’ve done that once or twice! Mostly to go geocaching or something else free.
Our favorite thing, though, is “stay-in-date-night”. We put the kids to bed, order in some Chinese or Noodles and Company, and eat in the front room. Sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we play games. Either way, we don’t spend money on a babysitter!
I love this!!! We are most definitely in the phase where our favorite date nights happen at home, with take-out, a good movie/tv show and my favorite guy curled up with me on the couch! I know our “dates” will change throughout the seasons of our lives, but for now, I am completely content with the simplicity of it all!! And since the purpose of a date for us is quality time and connecting, then I would say we have hit the nail on the head! 🙂 I am enjoying reading back through your blog! xo.
I need to try this. My husband and I are still trying to figure out all the logistics of dating with a little one. A day date seems to be the perfect solution!
Great idea! I agree with the heading out after getting the kids to sleep. Not to mention the reluctance I have to pay a sitter for sitting on my couch after I’ve already done all the work. We’re actually going out for brunch on Saturday for V-day instead of fighting the Friday night crowds and I have to admit, I’m pretty excited to let a sitter entertain my boys for what can be a long couple hours on a Saturday! I’m also about to try the sitting swap with friends. We’re going to do Saturday day dates. Our kids are the same age and good friends so one of us gets to drop them off at the others house and we’ll switch. Definitely helpful when you’re dating on a budget!
We like day dates too! There is often more you can do during the day than at night. You can still go to a movie or out to eat, but you can also enjoy being outside or enjoy a festival / museum too. I think the day date is a very under appreciated activity!
Totally, Colleen! It feels like the possibilities are endless when we have a few open hours on a Saturday. 🙂 Plus, in our area, there are so many fun things to explore, and a few of them are a bit easier without kids in tow!
We sneak off for day lunches while the baby is in daycare and one of us has a doctor’s appointment. Isn’t that sad? I always make the appointment when my husband has the day off so he can go with me. If he has an appointment then I take a half day off. We then have lunch and go to the appointment. It’s the way we have little dates without the baby.
That’s not sad, it’s clever! Time well used for sure! Plus, it puts a little bright side to doctor’s appointments, right? 🙂
Love this! 🙂 We prefer the day date too because it means that we aren’t paying someone to watch our sleeping children AND matinees are always cheaper.
~Sarah
Agreed, Sarah! I hadn’t been to a real movie in ages and was SHOCKED at the ticket price! (Might also have something to do with living in California…)
I’ve really enjoyed taking a peek into your life today through your blog. You are an inspiring woman!
Brunch dates are our new favorite! Less competition for babysitters as well;)
I can totally relate to the tiredness! While we still have date nights, they’ve become few and far in between lol it’s not worth the effort sometimes! Going to try the day dates and see how that works for us 🙂 stopping by from SITS girls
Stopping by and new follower from SITS Girls Comment Love Tribe. I’m so glad to have come across your blog; I kind of feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit. Have a great day!
Yes, we still do date nights, not as often as I would like, but we do them! Now that we have two, it’s been harder, but before we would try for 1-2 times a month. We like at-home date nights too! 🙂
I wish my sister had read this blog post ten years ago—she wouldn’t have felt so alone in wondering why date night wasn’t working. Thanks for sharing – stopping by from SITS Girls
A day date! I really like that idea! We are actually taking a week off from our son. The in laws love having him and I do feel a little guilty but I know I’ll feel very refreshed when I come home and get to snuggle him and love him again. Sadly his dad is still away but it will be just nice to see him.
BIG fan of the Day Date here! Now that our kids are in school, and my husband and I work from home, we often sneak in dates during the day. Heck, there’s no sitter to pay for! Even if it’s just grabbing a quick coffee after drop off, it’s a nice change of pace. And I’m not spending that time yawning and wishing I was in my pajamas. Stopping by from the SITS challenge!
Love it! I think we all feel a lot of pressure to do things a certain way but who ever said a date has to be late on a Friday night? As long as you are nourishing your relationship I say do whatever works for you!
Yes and no. We have a good number of Friday afternoons together while our daughter is still in school, so we go to lunch, galleries, museums, or sometimes just park ourselves in a coffee shop with books or work we need to do. We still go out at night from time to time, though, too. It’s a lot easier now that our daughter is 4. Like you, bedtime was best handled by me and then rushing around after that was just nuts.
What a terrific idea! passing along to all my friends with young children.
Thank you
best,
diane
Dropping by from SITS girls today.
#SITSBlogging
That sounds about like our dating right now 🙂 Job, School, Blog, Preschooler, Newborn, Workouts, Life…oh yes, date night, when did that stop? Haha, I hope to rediscover again – but for now we are too happy (and sleepy) to mind. xox Happy that we are in the same tribe 😉 #sitsblogging
Haha, I can relate! And yes, I was happy when I saw your name on there, too!
Oh I love the idea of a day date! You are right it is always such a scramble and hassle to get everything ready for the babysitter. I am looking forward to just a few more years when my oldest will be able to be our babysitter!
Soooo, two kids (and another OTW) it never occurred to me to do a date during the day! I hate always asking my mother to watch my kids, so we usually ask her to do so after they are in bed, making a late night. I never thought of doing it after putting them down for nap on a weekend! Lord knows we can use some alone time every once in awhile!
Amen! What people don’t realize is one size does not fit all. What might be great for some doesn’t work for others. I never the energy to find a sitter, get dressed to go out etc. With six children I preferred, and still prefer, a quiet night at home too : )
We don’t do date nights or days nearly as often as we should, but we’ve decided not to focus on what we SHOULD do and focus instead on what works for us. And that involves putting the kids to bed at 8 and enjoying time together on a regular basis. Lately, a date night involves a french movie on Netflix. Works for me!