I love that nesting instinct. I’ve waited for it every pregnancy, and it has never failed me. The first time, I was solely concerned with getting the baby’s room and things in order. The next time, I went on an organizing rampage. No drawer in our house was safe! This time, I’m itching to tackle it ALL again, but I’m also learning that tackling it ALL comes at the cost of something else.
My enjoyment of the boys.
Yesterday the list interfered. Namely, this list:
I was too busy reorganizing the pantry to play “Uncle Wiggly” with Trenton. I sat obliviously beside them at the dining table, cleaning out my recipes, while they oohed and ahhed over the experiment I had set up for them. Even when I was “playing” with them (a.k.a. setting up the marble run), in my mind I was pining away for 30 minutes to weed through photos on the computer. Don’t even get me started on my fine mothering as bedtime approached. I literally shooed them to bed.
Your list might not have anything to do with getting ready for a baby, but I’m guessing you have one too. Taped to the fridge or typed into your online calendar or simply ingrained behind your eyelids.
Finding the balance between crossing off your to-do’s and being in the moment with your children is much harder than it sounds. I still haven’t found a way to do both at the same time, and I suspect I never will. So if you have tips, please share!
For now? My decision is that tackling it ALL is going to have to wait. I’m off to play “Uncle Wiggly”!
I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s impossible to be “in the moment” with your children for 12-13 hours a day. I know I can’t!
I totally understand this! I’ve had a big to-do list I’ve been tackling as well and sometimes it’s better to just set it aside & enjoy the moment – especially since our kids are only little for such a small amount of time.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! 🙂
I remember those days of trying to get everything ready for the new baby coming but, I was really sick during my pregnancies so not much got done. : )
Beautiful blog here! I’m now following. Found you on Facebook through ‘This southern girl’s heart’ page.
Thanks so much, Cathy! I’m excited to check out your blog, too. I can always use some new book ideas!
Erica, it MUST be a pregnancy thing, because I just wrote about my own third trimester must-do list, and one of the things I included is trying to spend more time with my two-year-old daughter, who will quickly lose her only-child status. And as I’ve been getting the nursery ready, we’ve also been slowly renovating/redecorating our daughter’s room (as we moved the baby furniture out and replaced it with “big girl” furniture, installed a pink crystal chandelier in each girl’s room, and picked out matching wall decals).
I do have the sense that I want to get my home in order before the baby arrives, but I also want to get my LIFE in order: my sense of self, my marriage, my relationships with friends and family. It’s definitely a tough balancing act, and I can only imagine how much more complicated it gets when you’re welcoming your third baby, but we all do the best we can. I’m sure we’re all a little more distracted from our mothering duties when we’re expecting. Thankfully, our children don’t love us any less for it 🙂
Getting LIFE in order makes so much sense. It really is more than just the home. That’s why I love the list you posted, because you include time for yourself and your family in addition to the more essential preparations, like the double stroller. Good luck to you! To us both!
I struggle with this, even though I don’t have kids yet! LOL. I get so focused on my to-do list that I ignore my poor husband who wants to spend time with me. There’s definitely times he needs to leave me alone so I can get things done, but it needs to be balanced with quality time 🙂
Oh can I relate to this! Especially now that two are in school and I’ve got just the one at home. He needs me more than they ever did – to listen, to play, to acknowledge. Thanks for this important reminder Erica. I always enjoy reading your blog in my inbox whenever it come along 🙂
I admire you! And I loved the ‘nesting’ too! I got some work done, girl!
Good work! Be good to yourself. Bit by bit things will get done! Love your list!
I feel like this is a daily thing for me. When I lay in bed at night, I wonder if I gave enough 100% attention to my kids individually Sometimes I get really good at working on a project next to them when they are playing but that isn’t good enough . Or I find myself saying, just a minute a million times. Balance definitely is the key and I’m guessing it’s something we’ll always be perfecting. Your kids are lucky to have you. You set a good example of always trying to be a better person and mom. Oh and I want to know how to play “uncle wiggly!”
This is one area where I need constant reminders. I am such a list maker! Sometimes I make my list and can’t seem to make myself do anything on it, so I add the things I actually did that day just so I can cross something off. Maybe “have a tea party” and “read another story” need to make it onto my list more often.
Best idea ever! Seeing those moments on the list would definitely make me feel a bit better about it all at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s easy to feel “unproductive” but hard to see how productive it really is to spend time with our kids! Thanks for your sweet comment!