Lately the phrase “a good mom” has been twirling around my head.
A couple of weeks ago, the boys and I made playdough. I let them sit on the counter. Trenton got to stir. I added glitter to the dough. Then I spent he rest of the day glowing about what a good mom I had been.
I’ve decided since then that I have the notion of “a good mom” linked in my head to “a creative mom.”
Of course I want my kids to have varied tactile experiences, to see how two paint colors make a new one when blended, to discover how a drop from an eye dropper makes ripples in a bowl of water. But I don’t think that that is what they will remember from their childhoods.
When I think back on my own, I remember the paper mache masks my mom helped us make on special occasions, and I can almost smell her salty homemade playdough, just like I make for my boys. But beyond that, my memories of childhood arts and crafts are few. What I remember of my childhood is more of a feeling than a list of experiences. It is security.
I’m a good mom—even if I let his preschool teachers do most of the crafting with him. Even if I haven’t taken him to the dentist yet. Even if I let them ride around on the patio while it’s pouring rain. I kiss owies better, sing songs at night, and encourage them when they’re feeling shy. No matter how much or how little they remember someday of their childhoods, I will be proud of my work if they can say they felt secure.
Now it’s your turn. I’ve been connecting “a good mom” with creativity. What do you think you connect it to?
This is a great post. I battle the invisible good mom all the time. My criteria are numerous – she stops everything to play Legos, has supplies on hand for a new craft every day, never raises her voice out of frustration, cooks completely organic meals which her children have no problem devouring, and of course she looks fabulous while she is doing all of these things. I fail at all of this. But I tell my girls I love them about a hundred times a day. Hugs are plentiful. Smiles outweigh tears by far. Security – great point, Erica! Thank you!
Yes, that is a tall order! But I think I have just the same thing in my mind, especially the looking fabulous while doing it! (which so rarely happens!) Let's stick with the hugs. That I can handle. 🙂
Funny you should mention that – I've been thinking a lot about {in the midst of difficult parenting} how I don't remember many specific things about how I was parented, but the whole experience, like you said. Keeps my chin up with the going gets tough!