21 Quick-Acting Anxiety Busters for the Holiday Season

I was walking my kids home from school the other day, engrossed in own thoughts—there in body with my children but miles away in my head.

It’s time to start thinking about Christmas gifts, I thought. And we still haven’t pinned down what we’re doing for Thanksgiving…

Despite my racing mind (and probably out of habit more than anything else), I asked my middle kid how his day was.

His reply yanked me down from the clouds and back onto the sidewalk that lined the park, the sidewalk we walk together twice a day, every day.

My typically even-keeled boy melted in front of me, saying, “Fourth grade is actually pretty stressful!”

After he told me why it felt stressful, I asked him what he does to work through his stress. He thought for a second before saying that he tries to think of something his teacher has been telling the class.

“If you’re stressed,” he said, “It’s probably because you’re either thinking about something in the past or something in the future. And if you just forget about all that and think about THIS moment, then it doesn’t feel so bad.”

I reeled at this nugget of wisdom he dropped on our walk home (and I wanted to aggressively hug his teacher for sharing it with him!).

I’d had stress and anxiety coursing through my body for the last few days, and it wasn’t until that very moment that I tore my mind from the past and the future and returned it to exactly where it should be—right there in the present with my son.

And just like he promised it would, so much of that stress melted away.

Holiday Cheer… and Holiday Stress

I hope that when you think about the holiday season, you picture cozy layers and nights sitting next to the fire, red cups from Starbucks and holiday music in all the stores. I hope you remember heartfelt acts of service and look forward to frosted sugar cookies and the glow of your tree.

But if you’re like me—and almost any woman I know—the holidays also mean burgeoning to-do lists, a watchful eye on your bank account, and higher-than-normal stress levels.

You might be looking forward to the magic of the holidays while simultaneously dreading the anxiety.

If you’re inwardly raising a hand, I’d love to offer some simple ways to rein the stress in and to pull yourself back into the present moment this holiday season.

* In this article, I’m referring to the stress and anxiety that most of us experience in the course of day-to-day life. As always, if you have questions about your mental health, please seek the help of a doctor or therapist.

21 Quick-Acting Anxiety Busters for the Holiday Season

1. Do a mental clear-out.

One of the biggest causes of my anxiety is having too much on my mind. My heart pumps as fast as my thoughts race. But I always find relief when I take pen to paper and simply get it all out.

2. Prioritize.

After you’ve written out everything on your mind, you may find that it’s less intimidating on paper than it was in your head. From here, you can evaluate your list and find tasks you can (1) eliminate, (2) delegate, (3) table for now, and (4) quickly knock off your list. Remember: Not everything needs to be done by you, and not everything needs to be done at all!

3. Practice saying no.

Listen to your gut, and only commit to the things that are most in line with your vision for your holiday season. Try any of these lines:

• “I’m really trying to focus on family this month, but thanks for thinking of me!”
• “You know how crazy the holidays can get. I’m trying out a different approach this year, so I can’t help, but I’d love to another time!”

4. Cut your number of must-do traditions.

What if you only planned to fit in the two or three traditions you care about most—and anything else that happens to spontaneously work its way in is just a bonus!

“Let the things that are important take center stage.”

Peter Walsh

5. Look at your gift list and find at least one person you could send an appreciative text to instead.

In particular, look for people who tend to give you words of love and encouragement, because to that person, kind words may be more precious than a gift. You’ll knock a to-do off your list, and you’ll speak in a language a friend can understand. (Double win!)

6. Choose a mantra for your holiday season.

Something that feels right in your bones. Something you can repeat to yourself whenever you feel your stress level rising. For example: “Be here now.” “Be still.” “All is calm, all is bright.” “Present over perfect.” “Heart and eyes wide open.”

7. Light a holiday-scented candle or diffuse your favorite essential oil, and take a moment to really breathe it in.

(Too often, we rush past these moments.)

8. Sit by the fire or the glow of your Christmas tree.

Just sit. Rest. Be.

9. Cut paper snowflakes.

It’s surprisingly therapeutic! If you have a kid handy, invite them to join in.

10. Remind yourself that while you can’t control what others say or do, you can choose what you let in—you can choose what you want to make their actions mean about you.

(Hint: They mean nothing about you.) If you’ll be spending time with a difficult family member or friend this month, read this one again. And then again. 😉

11. Focus on the exhale.

Inhaling is connected to the sympathetic nervous system (or the fight-or-flight response) and can even lead to hyperventilating. Exhaling, on the other hand, is connected to the parasympathetic system—or your body’s ability to relax. Focus on thorough exhales for two minutes when your anxiety is high.

12. Declutter one surface that you look at often: your desk, the kitchen counter, the dining table, etc.

White space in the home equals white space in the mind. {Related: 10 Clutter-Clearing Strategies that Will Gradually Make Your Life 100 Times Easier}

13. Lower your holiday baking standards.

Ask yourself what few holiday dishes you really enjoy making, and make those. Take the pressure off. (Your family would rather have a happy you than a perfectly glazed ham and a dozen festive sides.)

14. Do more of your shopping online this year.

Fewer crowds, less traffic, more time in your pajamas. 😉

15. Tell a loved one how you’re feeling.

Karen Salmansohn said it so well:

“Sometimes you just need to talk about something—not to get sympathy or help but just to kill its power by letting the truth of it hit the air.”

16. Move that beautiful body!

I know exercise can be hard in the winter, when the temps have dropped, but a few minutes of yoga at home or a brisk walk no matter the weather can do wonders. When anxiety is building in the body, one of the best things you can do is MOVE to work it out. (We’re biologically wired this way.)

17. Try a few minutes of “ecotherapy.”

“Research in a growing scientific field called ecotherapy has shown a strong connection between time spent in nature and reduced stress, anxiety, and depression… In a 2015 study, researchers compared the brain activity of healthy people after they walked for 90 minutes in either a natural setting or an urban one. They found that those who did a nature walk had lower activity in the prefrontal cortex, a brain region that is active during rumination — defined as repetitive thoughts that focus on negative emotions.”

Harvard Health Publishing

18. Go to bed.

It’s hard to get the sleep you need when your to-do list is top of mind, but a sleep deficit is one of the surest ways to amplify your anxiety, so be sure to prioritize rest this season.

19. Choose your food mindfully.

Caffeine, sugar, and processed foods (which are in abundance this time of year!) contribute to anxiety, so get in your greens and observe how foods feel in your body. (And be gentle with yourself all month long!)

20. Embrace the early exit.

For the events you genuinely want to attend (or absolutely can’t get out of!), remember that just because you’re going, it doesn’t mean you have to shut the party down. 😉 Go share your light with the people there, and then go home and feed that light by giving yourself a bit of self-care before bed.

Pro tip: Take a separate car from your partner if he’s likely to want to stay longer than you! (This is an especially good technique for introverts during the holidays.)

21. Lower the bar, and give yourself compassion.

You’re doing the best you can with what you have, and that is enough.

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The more ideas the better! When you feel your stress levels starting to climb, what’s one thing you do to lower them?