In the summer, I read online that when one couple’s dream wedding almost got pre-empted by the fire department, their photographer snapped some gorgeous photos that quickly went viral. I followed the story around various news sites, and gradually, I noticed the reporters using a common phrase. A phrase that never sits quite right with me.
They kept calling this couple’s wedding the “biggest day of their life.”
My wedding day was beautiful, but I’m not convinced it was the biggest day of my life.
What about the day I held in my hands the acceptance letter to the college I had worked my booty off to get into. The words on that sheet of paper deeply influenced the trajectory of my life.
Or what about the day my future husband rang my doorbell for the first time, both of us expecting absolutely nothing to come of our meeting. (We were so, so wrong.)
What about the night he said I love you on some steps in the middle of a park—or the next day, when he backpedalled a bit because of nerves. (Luckily for him, I understood. We were new to this kind of love.)
I wonder if the biggest day of my life was actually the day when I walked up to a candlelit table, complete with the apple juice boxes we had on our first date. He asked me to spend forever with him that night, and I said yes.
Then there’s the day we flew from icy Indiana to sunny California and felt instant peace when we got off the plane.
There’s the day we learned we were having our first baby and spent the evening in blissful shock at the local Panera.
I think of the day when I sat holding one baby in my arms while the other played happily on the floor, tears streaming down my face as I felt a quiet answer to the prayer in my heart.
My wedding day was beautiful. Without those promises we made to each other and to God, my life today would look nothing like it does now.
But there are a lot of days that make up a life.
Before I know it the day may come when we send our first son on a mission for our church, knowing all we’ll have of him for the next two years are weekly emails and twice yearly phone calls.
I imagine the day when we marry off our last baby. That day will mark the beginning of the rest of her life, and it will mark the end of the most incredible chapter of ours.
In the grand scheme, my wedding day may prove to be the most significant, most pivotal, day of my life, but it is a thousand little days that are going to make my life big.
I am so with you, Erica. My wedding day was beautiful, significant, the beginning of a journey, but not the biggest day of my life. In fact, I don’t believe there is one day that is the biggest. I believe each day brings new challenges, new joys, new fears, and deeper love with those we commit to have and to hold through it all.
Sometimes I think one of the most important days in my life was when Devin and I decided we want to be married to each other. It wasn’t extravagant and it was a chat we had in the parking lot of his apartment complex. It was raining outside, it was dark, and it was just the two of us. There aren’t any pictures from that day, but I think about it every time I want to revisit us dating or when I want to treat out marriage better than I realize I am.
Love this post!
Ooh, I love how you said it, Autumn. It’s all those decisions, big and small, that are really creating our lives. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment!
In an attempt to be open minded and forgiving I had my husband’s X girlfriend sew my wedding dress…it was…not good. The pictures made me cry for a long time…this big day, just ruined by bad memories..then we carried on, we bought our house, we had our first baby..our 2nd…our 3rd…and 10 years with my husband later, that dress..it is the hugliest thing..but it is SO insignificant. I can laugh about it and wouldnt change anything!
Great…wise post. love it.
Oh my goodness, that it the BEST detail! Well really not the beset at the time (at all!), but it’s such a great example of how much the wedding itself means at the time and how much that fades with the years. 🙂 (Semi-related: I rented my wedding dress. 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment, Corinne!
Yes. Yes. Yes. If it really is the biggest day of your life you haven’t got much to look forward to after that… And that’s a long life of mediocrity.
I am so with you, Heidi. Btw, it’s so fun to here from you on here! Thanks!
Wonderful perspective! I think it is a problem that people put so much emphasis on the wedding “day.” Especially when expectations are not met and things don’t go as planned! You have such a way with words!
Thanks so much, Amber! I’m always so happy to hear from you! And your comment reminded me about how interesting it is going to be to go through a wedding with a daughter (whose perspective might not be quite the same). 🙂 You have a lovely day!
I was a bundle of nerves on my wedding day, and honestly relieved when it ended and we weren’t in the “spotlight.” I love your perspective. It made me reflect on all the similar, wonderful moments of my life.
Those photos are stunning!
I agree though. My wedding day was not the biggest day of my life. To me, two of the biggest moments in my life were when I knelt across from my husband in the temple and said yes, because that changed the course of my life. Also, the day we looked at each other in awe when we say two pink lines on a stick. That moment changed our lives. But our actual wedding/photos/reception were honestly nothing in the big scheme of things.
SO beautiful and so true. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Glad to have found you through Casey’s blog 🙂 ~Jenna // A Mama Collective
ahhh! I love that I just saw your link up on Casey’s blog. 🙂
This is so breathtakingly beautiful. I never wa one to dream up a big “wedding”, and I guess it’s good that I didn’t. My dad had been out of work for a while but wanted to pay for as much as he could- so I rented my dress too, and did things as cheaply as possible. But, like you said, it is the promises we made that matter, and the way we decide to go forward with our lives together. I think everyone would agree that the wedding day is hugely important, but not for the color of the sky or the bridesmaid dresses. It’s the moments that you stop and breathe in that make a life, and all those little moments together that make it a good one. It’s a good reminder to me today to watch for those and to not let my to-do list take over (which is a constant daily battle for me.) love love love this, and love you! Any chance we’ll ever get to see you again when you come visit here?
I have to say I love this. I’m not yet married but when I think about my wedding day if I get to absorbed in the details I remember yes it is a big day but it won’t be the best day of my life. To live for one day is sad. You miss out on the rest of the great days life has to offer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! P.S. I love your blog 🙂
Hi Sierra! Thanks so much for your sweet comment! I checked out your blog, and man, your story is the sweetest! I wish you and your missionary the very best! Keep in touch!
Oh that means so much to me coming from you Erica. You and your blog has kind of become the inspiration/mentor for my blog. I’ll be honest I visit plenty of fashion blogs but what I love about your blog is that every time I visit and read a post I feel inspired and uplifted!
So true, all that you so poetically wrote. My wedding day was not the biggest day of my life, thank God! It troubles me that even exists as a normal thing to say. It is such an anticlimactic way of looking at life. Here’s to many more big days for all of us!
Your writing is so beautiful. I love this.
Thanks so much, Misty! I hope you guys had a great Christmas and a happy New Year! Btw, your Christmas card was beautiful!