I notice that the same few things continually put me on edge as a mom: nonexistent personal space, constant noise, and bedtime burnout. (You too?) Today I’m sharing three strategies for dealing with each—for a total of nine sanity-saving ideas. I don’t manage to do any of these all the time, but I have found that my mood and my patience improve when I’m doing even a few!
Nonexistent Personal Space
I’ve said it before, but motherhood was not designed for people with space bubbles. Now that I have a few children bouncing around me all the time, I really struggle with not being able to walk without stepping on someone’s toes (literally).
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Create an imaginary line barricading the kitchen. Or, if your kids are younger, a physical one (like a baby gate or a couple of overturned barstools). On days when I know I won’t be able to handle tripping over the boys while I stir something on the stove, I use our piano bench to block the entrance to the kitchen. It reminds them that Mom needs some space today and to talk to her from the bench.
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Only feed children who are sitting down. For every trip I make back into the kitchen during meal times, this rule prevents me from having little people hot on my heels.
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Give them jobs. Asking kids to open doors or look for the carrots in the grocery store packs the added benefit of allowing Mom to walk more freely.
Constant Noise
Enough said.
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Wake up first. The noise starts the moment they wake, so a few minutes to yourself before they stir will help you stay centered.
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Drive the extra mile. When you notice the kids have been lulled into quiet in the car, drive a few extra miles and relish the peace. (We all know it’s worth every penny in gas!)
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Really, really, really enjoy showers when you manage to take them. (Assuming you don’t have any little ones barging in. 🙂
Bedtime Burnout
Something about being this close and yet so far from having the house to myself again gives me a short fuse.
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Get the kids into pajamas before dinner. Helping my wildcard of a three-year-old into his pajamas can really push my buttons, but I notice I’m more patient with this task earlier in the evening. It also feels AMAZING when we finish dinner and I remember they’re almost ready for bed!
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When needed, plan your evening to accommodate a strategic TV show after dinner and before bed. On the nights we do this, those precious 23 minutes allow me to send them off to bed with hugs rather than harsh words. Also, while it makes sense to do some cleanup during this time, take a few minutes for you as well. Scroll through the pictures on your camera roll; jot down something funny one of the kids said that day. Remember why you love them. It’ll make the bedtime routine feel like less of a chore.
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Work hard to set boundaries with your kids once you’ve closed the door. Our kids are allowed to come out to use the bathroom or get a drink from their sink, but that’s it. We are constantly reiterating this rule. Some nights are better than others, but we try hard to give them very little attention (positive or negative) “after hours.” (More on bedtime here.)
All right, moms! What do you have to add? Best of luck to us all as we do out best to stay sane!
Linked up with the Soli Deo Gloria Party, Works for Me Wednesday, Grace at Home, On Your Heart and What I Learned Wednesday. I’m also participating in the Pin-It Party at Mama Gab.
I already do two of these and they are total sanity savers! Getting up early to make sure I have at least 1 cup of coffee before my LO wakes is a must! Also the TV after dinner is great – well most of the time. My daughter is 20mo so its more like 8mins but it’s enough to breathe, clean up and get in bed time mode.
Hi Jenny! I’m glad you’re doing those two, too! They are sanity savers for sure!
Congrats on the big move! Other than the giving-up-300-days-of-sunshine part, it sounds pretty ideal! I’m happy for you!
We are off and on about the “closed door” policy but this last week has been heavenly for both of them. I didn’t know it was possible! If only the baby would get the memo… 🙂
I’m a few years from the toddler days, and wholly endorse each of these sanity savers! For me, I took it a step further and made my room my sanctuary…my “Mom-cave.” It wasn’t that my children were not allowed inside, but they learned to knock, learned to respect my privacy and not to come into my bed. It still works now that we’re in the elementary years.
I was always very strict about bedtimes and that has paid off, as well. Even Mr. Wonderful commented when we were dating about how simple bedtime was. It’s nice to know routines work!
Love the idea of barricading the kitchen, especially in the evening when my patience is wearing thin. 🙂
Gosh, yes! The noise! I only have one little guy…but I am so sensitive to sound. I can’t imagine how I will feel when I have more kids! I love car rides. 🙂
I’m really sensitive to sound, too, Andrea! (And people climbing on me and pulling my hair accidentally…) That’s the section I think I need the most help with, though. It’s really hard to find quiet as a mom!
This is a pretty good list! I have to say though that if I dressed my kids in pajamas before dinner, I’d have to change them. They are too messy for that, but it’s a good idea.
Being touched all the time drives me crazy! CRAZY! 🙂
Haha, I remember that (long) stage! My almost four-year-old is just barely getting clean enough to eat without changing. 🙂
Have a great day, Lauralee!
I have not gotten to watch much of television lately but when I have a TV date set for after bedtime, I feel like I am on “cloud nine”. Having some ice cream coupled with that just makes everything even sweeter.
haha! This is an awesome post :). I’ve been battling with the personal space/lack of free time dilemma, as well as night time burn out. After feeling frustrated about not really having a whole lot of free time for my passions I wrote a post on integrating them into the day-to-day of mommyhood (make art with them, take some time to read while they play, work out with them by going on walks together, ect.). That helps (when I remember to apply it). My husband is military, so when he comes home late (9-10), I really feel the night time burnout. What’s helped me is giving them baths in the afternoon when I have more energy. I have less patience for it at night because that’s when I start to feel tired.
I have to lock my bathroom door to allow privacy, that helps with my sanity. It REALLY helps! Teaches Respect. No one wants to take a BM with a toddler screaming at their knees, it’s SO uncomfortable to have someone in the bathroom with you, let alone a toddler! So, shut and lock the door!
Haha, amen to that!!
I will only fetch my kids one tiny drink of water after they go to bed, no more. This (theoretically) keeps them from yelling for me all night long. Of course, that doesn’t stop them from talking to each other and keeping them awake…
Haha, I’m with ya! Sometimes the next morning it looks like a tornado hit my boys’ room. But as long as they’re happy and not talking to me, I’m happy too. 🙂