simple living

What To Do When Everything Feels Important

“I feel like I have too many balls in the air, but I can’t set any of them down.”

A friend told me this recently, in gulping breaths, as we jogged side-by-side on treadmills at the gym.

My stomach immediately dropped with the memory of feeling that same way just a couple of years ago.

Many of us juggle so much. We’re keeping kids alive and trying our best to raise them how we want to. We’re helping them foster their interests while we try desperately not to forget our own. We’re working outside of the home or from within the home or a continually changing combo of the two. We’re clocking minute after minute of exercise as we try to get our “pre-baby” bodies back. (And we’re spending plenty of mental energy wondering if that’s even possible.) We’re trying to keep our marriages vital and we’re volunteering at church and school. Half out of necessity and half out of a deeply held desire, we’re nurturing our friendships and trying to be there for our people.

It’s a lot.

But worse, it all feels important.

"I have too many balls in the air, but I can't set any of them down." What To Do When Everything Feels ImportantYou know how when you’re getting ready for a trip, you make a list of everything you need to do before you leave? (Or is it just me?!)

That list becomes your lifeline for the week as you put a hold on the mail, ask your neighbor to bring in your trash bins, and pack the white noise machine your baby cannot sleep without. 

And inevitably, once you’re finally on the road—with no turning back—you take a last glance at your master list and find that a couple to-do’s have been left unchecked.

It turns out, some of those things you thought so essential at the beginning of the week, weren’t so essential after all.

A definitive timeline and a finite amount of energy showed you what really needed to get done.

I often think this is the perfect metaphor for learning your core in life.

All the balls we’re keeping in the air feel important, but what happens when you suddenly have to spend six weeks on bedrest? Or when you experience some depression or anxiety, fall into debt, lose someone you cared about, or give birth to twins? Or what about when you just finally decide, after years of giving everything your all, that you don’t want to keep living that way?

Given the right circumstances, we’ll find out what our real priorities are. It’s like the to-do list before your trip: everything seems important until something reminds you what really is.

I held onto my thoughts that day on the treadmill. I needed time to bounce my ideas around in my head, and I ventured a guess that my friend would benefit more from a listening ear than from any half-baked advice I could have offered.

But you, you aren’t so lucky. 🙂 You’re stuck with my thoughts.

Have you ever thought—"I have too many balls in the air, but I can't set any of them down." What To Do When Everything Feels ImportantWhat To Do When Everything Feels Important

1. Push back on the notion that there’s nothing you can set down—that all of it is essential. 

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” Wayne Dyer

2. Believe that life is long enough for you to do it all (just not all at once).

Setting something down doesn’t mean you’ll never pick it up again. You could set something down for a few weeks, a season, or a couple of years.

Shawni Eyre at 71 Toes likes to say that “life is long.” It goes against the expression that life is short and that we should seize the time we have. That my be true, but sometimes all that “seizing” just leaves us unsatisfied and burned out.

I suggest that if you accept that (God willing) you’ll have a season for everything, you’ll find it a bit less difficult to set something down.

3. Begin the process of knowing your core.

If you’ve been around here long, you know that continually coming back to the whys of my life, my deepest intentions, helps me let go of some of the pressure to do it all—and the guilt for never being able to.

When you know why you live—what you’re really living FOR—it’s so much easier to decide how you’re going to live.

The balls fall into place a lot more naturally.

Have you ever thought—"I have too many balls in the air, but I can't set any of them down." What To Do When Everything Feels ImportantOverall, this is something I’m always working on, and I imagine, you are too. I’d love to hear—

When have you hit that wall, the I-can’t-do-it-all-but-I-don’t-know-what-to-quit wall? And how did everything play out for you? What would you tell a friend in the same spot?


Resources:
Edit Your Life
52 Ways to Simplify
How to Craft a Family Purpose Statement
Discover Your Why with These 10 Questions

12 Comments

  • Reply
    Rachel Thueson
    October 11, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    I like that quote! Great advice. 🙂

  • Reply
    Bella
    October 12, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    Great treadmill example…..not to quit.You live only once.

  • Reply
    Heidi
    October 13, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    I heard the idea recently to replace “I don’t have time to do that” with “That is not a priority right now.” I love that idea and feel like it really helps put things in perspective. Because if you don’t have time to do it, it isn’t a priority – and that can be hard to face.

  • Reply
    Kristal
    October 15, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    Great advice, I loved that you talked about remembering your “why”. That has been so key to helping me keep my priorities in line when there is so much that seems important.

    • Reply
      Erica Layne
      October 15, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      Exactly, Kristal! Also, I took a peek at your blog – It looks like such a meaningful, beautiful place!

  • Reply
    Alison
    October 17, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    Great article Erica…I needed to read that so it was great timing!x

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    Kylie Gravlee
    December 19, 2016 at 9:23 am

    I’m not even a mom but this is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel a sense of relief just after reading this, and am ready to make some changes.

    Sincerely,
    Kylie Gravlee
    http://www.coffeewithkylie.com

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