Our Thanksgiving this year was low-key and warm and homey, or at least, as low-key as a Thanksgiving can be with young kids. The boys played outside with neighbors while I blended fresh cranberries and shaped the rolls. My husband and I argued over how to make the mashed potatoes (it’s tradition), and our youngest snoozed away in her bedroom while we put the finishing touches on the meal.
As soon as the turkey was sliced and ready to serve, I called the boys to the table and went upstairs to get Quinn up from her nap—only to find that she had just had an apocalyptic accident all over her bedroom.
#ohjoy
Cue a half hour of scrubbing the carpet and bathing the little lady (and throwing soiled underwear into the trash), all while the turkey and rolls cooled on the table.
Dinner, once we made it there, was lovely. Consumed in practically no time at all compared to the amount of time it takes to make it, but punctuated by an ongoing conversation of things we’re thankful for.
I always want to remember those big green eyes looking into mine, face leaned dramatically toward me, while Chase told me how thankful he is for his family.
By the end of the day, I felt like we had run a marathon. A happy one, but a marathon nonetheless. One of cleaning pots and pans (and tooshies). One of moderating sibling disputes and reminding active boys that they can wrestle and yell outside (but for the love, not inside).
I wouldn’t change it; I just wanted to note that during this stage of a family’s life, everything is a marathon.
That said, for us, it’s not quite the never-ending sprint that it was when our kids were even younger. And I have a feeling it will continue to shift and morph so slowly I barely even take note, until I’m suddenly looking back on this Thanksgiving—and this stage of life.
In the midst of our Thanksgiving marathon, my sweet sister posted a photo of herself with her three dolls and one happy pup. She wrote this as the caption:
“Happy Turkey Day! I’m thankful for my kiddies, who enrich my life more each year.”
It was like a glimpse into my future—this idea of your children each enriching your life.
Of course, my children do enrich my life (deeply), but I feel like they drain me equally. Maybe the day will come when my back isn’t so tired and my head isn’t so crowded (“Can we do this, Mom?!” “Get me that, Mom!”). Maybe the day will come when a solo trip to Target doesn’t feel like a hallelujah prayer but a regular, old day.
During the moments when I feel like I can’t handle the homework battles or the noise levels or the toddler drama, I’m going to remember this photo of my sister and her kids.
Because I’m trusting that eventually…
My relationships with each child will bring more—way more—into my life than they have taken from it.
I’m looking forward to that.
Do you have any advice for moms with little ones? What stage of family life are YOU in?
I agree that every stage brings joys and challenges. I have 3 teenagers and poop messes has been replaced by kitchen messes, childcare worries by driving issues, and bedtime stories by chance encounters. But I am surprised by the maturity and faith they allow me to see and blessed by what others tell me.
The challenges change. The blessings (and disappointments) are still there. I am blessed to be able to see the growth in my childen.
I love your balanced perspective, Nancy. One stage isn’t necessarily easier than the other – just different. I guess the key is holding on to the good & beautiful of each stage! Many best wishes with those three teens of yours!
Oh, this brought me back a few years! Yes, life with little ones is challenging and draining. I remember feeling that very same way not too long ago. But now going to the store alone IS a regular old thing. And I have plenty of time to myself everyday, which, as an introvert, is exactly what I need in order to be on my A game. There are definitely challenges with having older kids and teens. They are different, and potentially more life altering because big decisions are on the table. But those big kids DO bring so much into my life. And I will take the challenges of teenagers over toddlers any day, because I feel like they are a better fit for my strengths as an individual and as a mother. Hang in there, friend. The days are long, but the years are short.
I read this comment first thing this morning, and since then, I keep mulling over what you said about how having older kids / teens is more suited to your strengths. I think I may be the same way, but I suppose I won’t really know until I get there!
Regardless, we’re lucky we get to do this whole journey, aren’t we? Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and sharing! I so appreciate it! Much love!
Thank you for this. I am pregnant with my second and have a wonderful active 4yo. This gives me a glimpse of the future but also hope.
Yes. It’s hope that I’m hanging on to, too. Best wishes with the pregnancy and transition to two, KB!
We’re in the very same stage, Erica! It’s nice to hear that it wasn’t just me who felt like the Thanksgiving prep and execution were akin to a marathon 🙂 Everything feels challenging at this stage–everything–but I keep telling myself that it’ll pass before I know it. Next year, our oldest will be in kindergarten all day and the “baby” will be in preschool a few mornings a week, and I won’t know what to do with myself (or maybe I will!).
Glad to hear you had a happy Thanksgiving!
Oh yes, Evie – Those changes next year will make a world of difference! Now that my two oldest are in school, life DOES feel MUCH more manageable than it did a couple of years ago. When they’re home, life feels full to the brim, but when they’re at school, Quinn and I enjoy some actual quiet. (So strange!) In the long run, it’s all fleeting. But that doesn’t mean it feels like it at the time, right?!
Seasons. SEASONS. It’s less of a chanted mantra and more of a muttered lifeline, but it’s the thing that gets me through some of these days. Life is about seasons. And this one won’t last forever, which is something to remember in light of the hard parts and the beautiful ones! Happy holidays to you!
Love it. I LOVE that word, too. It’s the simplest, most effective word for a mom.