Recently on Facebook I came across a post of a friend that went like this: “Sometimes I think about all the good I could be doing if I weren’t so busy with the good I am already doing.” I think my friend got it just right, but as moms do we sometimes question our contribution to the world?
Is motherhood measurable enough for us?
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After one particularly busy season of life I declared war on all of our children’s extracurricular activities. I was on a journey to a simpler life, and the notion kept calling.
The plunge was a little frightening (I was scared to death of how the downtime would go!), but it consequently opened up just enough space in our lives to make room for some things of the better.
One of those things happened to be the garden we had always dreamed of.
Having put aside the busyness, we now had the energy to make it happen.
We built the framework, mixed the soil to the right consistency, took turns cooperatively-and not so cooperatively 😉 carefully shoveling it in, we planted the seeds, watered, and then admired our work.
Day after day following, my 5-year-old would run out to the garden to check it’s progress. Each day she would return disappointed to report that nothing was happening.
As more and more time passed, the garden finally began to sprout, and she burst into the house,
“Is it time Mom?!”
“Is it ready?!”
After I explained that it still had some growing to do, she was off on her way once again.
One afternoon after the garden had really taken off, her and I were out watering when I suggested that the carrots might be ready. She gently pushed back the soil to reveal the top of a small yellow carrot, and then said, “It’s not ready yet Mom, we HAVE to wait.”
Her comment took me by surprise. After chomping at the bit for so long, she was now content with the process. Not only was she content with the process, she seemed to be appreciating it.
“Little by little, a little becomes a lot.” Tanzanian Proverb
As we created room in our lives for a little whimsy, I realized that we had also learned an important lesson, one that even a cute little 5-year-old could grasp:
Those things in life that we want most (like raising wholehearted children)—they take time. Perhaps we simply can’t see or hear the growth that’s taking place just under the soil.
Evidence that You Really ARE Making a Difference
1. You love.
Author Bob Goff, in his book Love Does said, “….love is never stationary.”
Perhaps when we love, we’re always headed in the right direction. Like Bob said, love is always moving, and it’s a good thing it is, because you know the last time I overreacted about the flour haphazardly sprinkled across my kitchen counter and floor? Or threatened things I couldn’t follow through with? Ya, it’s because of those kinds of times that I’m glad love is fluid—it’s forgiving and it allows for new starts.
2. You worry.
I’m not talking about obsessive amounts of worry here. I’m talking about those thoughts that say:
“Did I say the right thing?”
“Am I doing enough?”
Is it possible that this kind of worry propels us to do good? Be better? Make small daily changes that make a difference in the lives of the people we love?
3. You put others before yourself.
If your Netflix lineup looks like a celebration of PBS, you fed someone else breakfast before you had your own, or you gave up part of your downtime for one more rendition of Brown Bear, I bet that you are practicing selflessness—in small ways that make a big difference to little people.
4. You do for others what they can not do for themselves.
You changed a diaper.
You fed a mouth.
You drove the carpool.
You calmed the crying.
5. Last, but possibly the most important: You refuse to quit.
Many days are hard, a few are thankfully easier, but motherhood is nonetheless a great labor. Your job starts when the sun comes up, and it doesn’t end when it goes down either. All of the providing, reminding, calming, refereeing and caring weighs heavy on your mind and your body too.
However, you refuse to give up because you’ve got #1 (the one about love) down pretty well. 😉
Those children—they make it pretty easy.
I picture the harvest of life looking a lot like the harvest of our family’s garden—only much, much grander. I see purposeful women like you with big hearts, nurturing little by little, yielding grown up children who also have great-big hearts. And if having more people like that in the world won’t make a difference, what will?
I really like this post. Moms, usually forget how important is our rol in childs´ life. And we are allways afraid that´s not enough!! Hugs and kisses from Argentina
This is beautifully written and so timely! I love the emphasis on new beginnings. It’s so easy to become discouraged when we inevitably mess up and forget that love doesn’t quit because we lost our temper that one time. Also, I’m impressed with your AZ garden. I’m assuming it’s a winter one because of the leafy greens?
Thanks Amber Mae! Yes, it is a winter garden-planted at the end of summer. We just harvested that broccoli! And the AZ garden thing is no easy task I’m learning. 😉 I love those leafy greens though! Thanks for your nice comment.
I love this!
This is the reason why presence is important. Every little step counts. As long as you stay present in that one little step, then you can see that it can have a massive effect on the result afterward.
Presence is such a beautiful concept. Thanks, Daikuro!
Loved this so much?
Thanks so much for reading, Brenda!
Hello Erica, you are an incredible writer. You have shared such a wonderful blog. And yes it’s necessary that children should have attachment to the garden. Thanks for sharing this blog.
Needed encouragement, Amy. The way I often relate to this idea is how if we just keep taking baby steps- toward healing, loving, toward who as mom/woman/role model we want to be – that one day we look back, and stand amazed, at just how far we have come.
This was particularly helpful to
me when I wanted to quit yelling as a younger mom and felt I would never change. I did.