It’s no secret that I love this outlet. I write because putting words out there is a part of me. It is how I process life. It’s how I grow as a person. And I am so grateful to you beautiful women who join me every week as we blunder our way through motherhood and never stop trying to offer our families our best.
Before I started writing Let Why Lead, I made a friend who always treated me like I was interesting. She was curious about my life experiences and often asked about my interests. But I was submerged in the newness of motherhood—the strict adherence to naps, the obsession over nighttime sleep, the elbow-deep diapers! I could barely remember what time I had gone to sleep the night before, much less remember what had interested me before I had a baby.
Eventually, though, the exhausting and yet exhilarating baby fog lifted, and I started finding my old self again. But it is because of writing this blog that I have completely found her again—and grown even more.
For the most part, I’m good at focusing on why I really blog. After all, “the why” is the whole point of this space! That said, I still find myself wondering every now and then when I notice other bloggers celebrating, say, 500 facebook likes—why isn’t mine growing as quickly?
In this saturated blogging market, there is an abundance of information out there about how to do it “right.” How to “skyrocket your numbers.” But after a year and a half of faithfully writing here (and reading a great many other blogs), I can tell you exactly how to grow, with one minor clause: how to grow slowly. And after that, I’ll tell you why you might want to.
How to Grow a Blog Slowly
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Be judicious in the linkups your participate in, because you actually want to be able to participate in them, not just link and run.
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Don’t host a linkup unless you are certain it will benefit your readers.
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Don’t host or participate in a ton of blog or social media hops. You may gain a dozen likes in one day, but how many of those will become genuine, invested readers?
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Don’t host so many giveaways that your audience forgets what your blog is really about.
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Try not to apologize when you go quiet for a bit, because it assumes that people are holding their breath waiting for you to post.
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Never call the people who read your blog or follow your Facebook page “fans.”
The beautiful thing about growing slowly is that you gain friends, not numbers. Connections, not stats. My growth has been slow but steady, and I am sincerely touched each time one of you comments…or shares something I wrote on facebook or pinterest…or mentions a post of mine in real live conversation (for all my local girls!). Those little touches make it feel worthwhile. They take this part-time, unpaid, purely because-I-want-to job and turn it into a privilege.
But like life, blogging is a constant balancing act. I want to grow and I want to stay grounded. I want to be happy with my numbers, but honestly, I still want to extend my voice.
So rather than than turn this space into something you don’t recognize in order to boost my numbers, I’m going to keep writing what I feel matters, and I’m going to ask you to help me grow in a more organic way. When you read something that sticks with you, will you share it with friends? If you know someone who would benefit from reading this blog, will you tell her about it? I’m happy—honored, actually—to grow the old fashioned way, by word of mouth. No excessive linkups or fishing for likes.
Just me. And you. Helping this space bloom.
Thank you so much!
I love your perspective on blogging. It’s very similar to my own so reading this blog post felt like having my thoughts written down by someone else.
I’m glad I stumbled across your blog 🙂
I absolutely love this post! I just commented on a previous post but I am a new reader and found your blog through another blog. She linked to your article in the newspaper and I loved what you had to say so I checked out your blog. I have only read a few posts but absolutely love what you have to say and can’t wait to keep reading. Thank you!
I love this perspective about how to grow a blog, so refreshing about. So glad I found your through Casey’s blog link up
Thank you for writing this! So often I get wrapped up in the “how many followers” mentality and strive for my voice and story to be heard (or read, ha!). But like you said, I’d rather have genuine readers that I can develop relationship with. Thank you again for the encouragement! So glad I found you on Casey’s link up.
xoxo, autumn // courageouslove.net
Great post. I like your blog and your philosophy.
I just found your blog today via Life in Grace. The marriage posts caught my eye since I have a daughter who just got married in Oct and a son who will be married in April. I texted my daughters and soon to be daughter in law to tell them to check out your blog also. So now its back to snooping around your blog 🙂
Hi Nita – I’m so glad you found me! I feel like there is a gap online, a lack of honest, practical marriage writing, and I’m honored that you passed my blog along to your daughters! I hope they find it helpful and encouraging.
I am finally excited to see some info about blogging and starting and growing a blog. I’m recently new to this and I enjoy reading your blog as I do many others. I am hopefully going to be able to start my own blog as soon as I get all my ducks in a row. There is so much to know that I do know and that I don’t know. I am newly married and enjoy anything and everything you write about. So keep up the great work Erica I will continue to be a dedicated reader !
Hi Vicky! Thank you for the sweet words and for following along, and good luck launching your blog! Definitely let me know when you do so I can visit!
I have a similar philosophy and needed this reassurance! Thank you!
So glad to hear it, Brenda! Keep on keepin on! 🙂
This post is exactly what I wanted to hear right now. I started a blog less than a year ago, and have recently begun to question whether or not it is worth it. I don’t seem to be growing as much as I had hoped. But then I realized it is because I am growing slowly because i am trying to do it naturally. I don’t want to bribe people to be a reader…..I don’t want to beg people to follow me. It is so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants people to read my blog because they WANT to, not because they have a chance of winning something or have been told to follow along. Thank you!
Thank you for this!!
this was wonderful! i am a six-month-old blogger and every word of this resonates. my most thrilling moments so far were when i found out my best friend made one of my recipes and another friend tried folding her towels my way. 🙂 its all about connection and sharing, and its fun to have strangers start to feel like friends. another reason to grow slowly is that i think it takes a while to refine your voice and style as a blogger. part of the journey, as you said, is discovering who you are, and when the people come, you want them to meet someone who is comfortable in her own skin. maybe not someone who has it all figured out (because who ever does that??) but someone who’s found her rhythm. it’s a scary thing to let the world in, and a bit of it at a time is less daunting than the whole thing at once. anyways, thanks for this post; i’ll definitely be sharing!
I have always thought it always felt a bit off to call blog readers or FB followers “fans”. Thanks for articulating that!
Uhh, I needed to read this. “Don’t apologize for not posting…” For the first time in 4 years I haven’t posted in a MONTH! I feel so guilty, but you’re right…No one is holding their breath!.
I hadn’t run across your page in a while, and found this post on Pinterest. So glad to “see” you again:)
Great advice! I really like how you said to make sure you always remember the reason for the blog. Thanks for keeping us “bloggers” grounded!
Erica, thank you very much for this very real post.
I’m taking the leap into blogging, and am skeptical as to whether or not I am doing the right thing. Only time will tell. I enjoy doing what I do and that is why I do it, but if others find enjoyment from what I write then that makes it all the more worthwhile.
Thanks again!
Hi Hollie! I just wanted to thank you for your thoughtful comment. Best wishes in your blogging future!
Love this, Erica! Everything that you just said resonates with me right now when I am trying to figure out what the next step is with my blog. It really is about connecting with people…not numbers, and it is OK to take some time to grow. Thanks, friend.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Lynnette! It’s a constant (tricky) balance!