A big welcome to my friend Paula from Beauty Through Imperfection! She kindly hosted me earlier this month {here}, and now I’m happy to have her sharing her voice here at Let Why Lead. Please give her a warm welcome!
Perfection.
It’s a concept that our culture is somewhat obsessed with. We all want the Perfect body, or to achieve perfection as we pursue our goals in life; we want to have the perfect experiences, perfect homes, cars, clothing, the perfect family.
It’s not wrong to desire nice things. And striving to excel at what we do is not a negative thing in and of itself. But both of these things can easily be taken too far. When I became a mother I became obsessed with perfection. I wanted to be the ideal mama. To give my son everything. I wanted him to be happy and safe, and I felt like that meant I couldn’t make any mistakes. It was miserable.
In all my striving for perfection I couldn’t enjoy life with my son. I was caught in a trap of my own making. No one else expected me to be the perfect mom. My family and friends had much more grace for me than I would allow for myself. I needed to be perfect and I would sob at night because I knew I was failing.
Perfection. It’s so impossible. My motivation was pure but the outcome of it was nothing short of destructive. I can’t tell you what made my heart change other than God’s grace. It didn’t happen all at once, but it happend. I’m no longer obsessed with being perfect. In fact, I’ve come to sort of embrace my imperfections because I know that God can use them for His glory. I don’t want my kids to see me as perfect anymore. I want them to see me as the flawed mother and woman that I am. I want them to see that I’m in need of a Savior just like they are. And I want to use my shortcomings to point them to Christ.
I still strive every day to do the best that I can. I work on improving areas that I know I struggle with, but I don’t beat myself up when I fail. We will all fail, we all fall short of perfection—but God has grace for that, and He’s there to help us.
The day I stopped focusing on perfection was the day I found true joy in God’s grace. It’s the day I became a happy mama instead of a perpetually depressed one.
I’m an imperfect mama. And I’m ok with that.
What about you? Have you fallen victim to the trap of trying to achieve “perfection”? How do you battle mom-guilt and feeling like you are not allowed to mess up?
Paula is a 20-something wife and mama. She and her hubby met when they were both 18 and got married 35 days later! Life is always an adventure, and they are loving learning & growing together! Their kiddoskeep them busy and having fun! Paula loves playing board games with her hubby and taking nature walks with her little family. Paula is also obsessed with photos and writing. She’s an avid blogger and an aspiring author. You can find most of her writing on her blog Beauty Through Imperfection where she writes mainly about parenting, marriage, faith, Imperfect Motherhood and family life.
Life is certainly a journey! Finding joy in the journey is a gift!
I hear you! I think along with striving for perfection comes comparison…and that leads all too quickly to a downward spiral. I find myself much happier when I’m not comparing myself to others–to other moms, my child to their child, homemaking abilities, etc. We all have our strengths, and sometimes its too easy to see it in others and not in ourself!
Thanks, Rach! Well said!
I can really relate to this, even though I’m not a mom. I still want my ministry, my work, my blog, to be perfect, and I give myself impossible standards without enough grace. Thank you for the perspective!
You’re the best, Emily. I think as women (no matter what our roles) we’re all especially susceptible to setting overly high standards for ourselves. Thanks so much for your sweet comment!
Wise words, Paula. I have to fight my inner perfectionist every. single. day. But, I’m learning to let go and embrace the beauty in the imperfection {see what I did there?}.
Paula, you know how to reach to the heart of people and encourage them. Bless you, my sweet friend.