I know the trail well.
I can picture each half-mile marker in my head. As I come through my favorite stretch of forest, where the sunlight pokes through the trees like open vertical blinds, I hit mile marker one. My legs are heavy, willing me to turn around. Luckily, my brain disagrees, and by the time I hit mile marker 4, my legs, lungs, and mind are in sync.
However, once I hit mile seven—with one more to go—both my body and my brain are protesting.
Thankfully, I have one card up my sleeve.
“You can do this,” I tell myself. “You’re done worse.”
I pull up the memories of the half-marathon I ran after I had my second son. I run through them one by one, all while my feet continue to steadily (but by no means quickly) pound the pavement.
I picture a big guy named Dave telling the race participants beforehand that at some point we would be cursing him for designing the course. (He was right.) I see us eagerly cross the starting line and immediately ascend a hill so steep you’re not sure if you’re technically running or walking. We spread out gradually, until we’re running narrow dirt trails in single file.
It feels like we climb for the entire 13.1 miles, but at some point we must have descended, because we end up at the same beach we started at. It feels like a cruel joke that at mile 13 we’re required to run a length of loose sand in order to reach the finish line.
Tears sting my eyes when, while wading (running?) through the sand, I see my husband and two little boys. I see myself throw up on the car ride home. To this day, I’m still mad at Dave.
But by the time I’ve been through these scenes in my head, I’m rounding the last curve in the trail.
On my best runs, I try to apply this exercise to my life. What hard things have I done? What have I made it through that can remind me that I am stronger than I feel?
What can remind you that you’re stronger than you feel?
Maybe you have survived the sleep deprivation a newborn brings, or maybe you’ve made it through postpartum depression. Maybe you have endured the loss of a pregnancy or a loved one. With a lot of work and tears, you’ve likely calmed a tumultuous relationship, made amends for past wrongs, and forgiven people who have disappointed you.
We often don’t give ourselves enough credit for it all. It may be because many of our challenges don’t have a clear start and end, like an athletic event does, or because some trials become such integral parts of our lives that we forget to look at them as something we’ve come out on the other side of.
Regardless, the storms we’ve weathered are there, in our memories, and like the athlete who trains for her event, we can train ourselves to see and appreciate our growth—and use it to remind ourselves that we’re capable of even more.
This part really stuck with me – “We often don’t give ourselves enough credit for it all. It may be because many of our challenges don’t have a clear start and end, like an athletic event does, or because some trials become such integral parts of our lives that we forget to look at them as something we’ve come out on the other side.” Thanks friend 🙂
And you’re a runner! Yay! I’m a newbie – ran my first 5k this summer 🙂 This post is great motivation to keep striving for more out of my runs, too.
Hi Katie! Thanks for the sweet comments! That’s awesome about your 5k! I never really consider myself a runner, but I’ve trained for an event after each baby, to get in shape and feel like myself again. 🙂 And every time, I’ve been amazed at how empowering it is to challenge yourself and learn that (with practice) you’re capable of way more than you thought. Plus, it just applies so naturally to life. 🙂
Keep running, girl – that runner’s high is totally worth it! (And keep me posted about your progress – I seriously love to talk about it!)
I love your perspective and definitely will keep you posted! So happy to have you as a virtual running buddy 🙂
Mile 7…that’s my hardest too! I love your mental exercise. I’m going to have to try that one (if I can get myself out the door). And your photo is gorgeous.
Thanks, Lisa! It really fits so well with a run—and helps distract me from what I usually think about (the trail, other runners/bikers, how slow my paces feel, etc.). 🙂
TOO BAD we can’t go out together for a run! We should have done that while you were here!
Once again your words resonate with me. Thank you!
Thanks, Vindie! I know you have a LOT on your plate right now (hello international move), so I can imagine why! You can do it!
I always look back to the things that God has pulled me through and know that He will get me through whatever situation it is that feels impossible today. Wise words as always, Erica.
Yikes, I better print this post! Maybe your determination will rub off on me as I “diet” for a special upcoming wedding! Ugh! You’re awesome!
I am loving where your writing direction is going. So beautiful, I feel so uplifted.