Friends. THIS. I love this post. I’m SO HAPPY to have my friend Cari here today, giving her soulful take on how to capture your family authentically. (Hint: you can leave the laundry baskets in the frame!) I know you’ll love it as much as I do. Thanks, Cari!
Growing up, my parents had a cupboard filled to the brim with dusty, leather photo albums of our childhood pictures. I adored leafing through those albums. Even at a young age, I knew that each photo held truth, emotion, and mystery.
Today, when taking photos of my family, I find that my intent with every image is to tell a story. But not just any story. Their story. As a professional photographer, writer, and creative, I know that I have the ability to mold each image to tell a certain version of the truth. I can easily manipulate my subject to smile a certain way, or place them in dreamy light to capture a certain mood. I can even clean and declutter a background to give a certain impression. If I wanted, in every image I could tell a story that my house is spotless and pristine (which it isn’t), that my children are always joyful and pleasant, and that pretty light always surrounds them.
In pictures I could give them a perfect, idyllic childhood.
It’s tempting to script their story with my lens.
Take the above image of my girls…
I saw the beautiful light, saw an opportunity, and SET THE WHOLE THING UP. Knowing that an image is staged takes some of the sweetness of the moment away for both the artist and the subject. Over-styled images lack life. I find them empty and void of real emotion. The images of my children that I deeply love are ones that are authentic—and honest.
They are real.
Because as a mom, I know how precious childhood is and how swiftly it passes, and my desire is to capture their life as it happens. When I am old and grey, I want to remember their sometimes raw and always beautiful emotions. I want to remember the messy and wonderfully overwhelming parts of motherhood.
So when I pick up my camera, I often find myself ignoring all the rules of photography beyond basic composition and exposure, and I shoot my children as my heart sees them instead. The next time you have your camera or iPhone handy and desire to capture your children as they are, try to incorporate some of these simple tips.
Capturing the Heart of Your Family with HONEST, Authentic Photography
1. Ignore the dishes, the laundry, and the chaos that is inevitably there.
Right, moms? Don’t hesitate to pick up your camera to capture a sweet moment because your home isn’t looking like a lifestyle magazine. The mess is part of the story. Motherhood is messy. Especially during the younger years. Embrace it. Capture it.
I love this image of my daughter using our railing as a barre. She is ALWAYS dancing these days, and I love seeing her in her element. If I had stopped to push away the baskets of clothes I would have interfered with her moment. She was lost in her reverie and was only vaguely aware that I was a few steps away. Looking at this image takes my breath away, because it is real and honest. It is her.
2. Look for all the tiniest details and capture them.
This takes some forethought, but take a few minutes to write down all of the teeny tiny details of your child that you don’t want to forget, and put that list on your fridge.
My baby is now five. Five! Brings tears to my eyes. It is such a sweet and wonderful age filled with playfulness and whimsy. There are so many details I don’t ever want to forget. She may have thought that I was crazy for taking a picture of her hair. But at the age of five she is wild, free—spirited—and very much a little walking mess. I adore the way she wears her hair, just the same way she wears her personality. Confidently…
I also love the way her feet don’t yet reach the ground…
Just as much as she loves to line up her dollies…
The same way that I love the way her brother lines up his cars…
And the way he often hides away in his room to play with those cars…
Each of these images tells a story. Their story.
3. Don’t be afraid to photograph hard or tender moments.
It may feel bizarre in the middle of sadness to have a camera in hand, but photography has been found to be therapeutic and healing for others. This is true for me and my family…
Last summer we had to make the very difficult decision of rehoming our beautiful puppy. I spent a couple days, before giving her to her new family, taking photos with the kids loving on their beloved dog. To this day, these STILL bring me back to that week and to the heavy emotions of our decision. The kids now treasure having these images to look back on, making them some of my favorites.
4. Capture your kids as they are.
My youngest, Lili, is the queen of emotions. She can go from happy to sad, to excited to angry in ten seconds flat. She has a million different facial expressions! Call me biased but I love all of them, and I don’t want to forget a single one.
*As a side note, before posting any images that may be embarrassing for my little ones, I ask their permission. Sometimes they are ok with it, easily finding the humor in themselves, but sometimes they just aren’t. Those are the ones I delete or file away for our own memories. As our children’s story tellers, we need to be careful not to shame or humiliate our children.
5. Make sure to insert yourself in the story, by setting up a tripod or handing the camera to someone else.
I hate taking my picture just as much as the next person hates getting a cavity filled. I freeze up in front of a lens and become stiff and awkward. However, I want my children to remember me being with them. I am not one to sit on the floor and play with dolls (without visibly gritting my teeth), But I LOVE reading to my kids when they will let me. Which is any night they are avoiding bedtime!
This is an example of how I actually did set up this image, but in no way did I force it to happen. I simply put the camera on a tripod, and set the timer. We spent twenty minutes snuggling and reading on the bed, and I couldn’t be more thankful that my kids have this tangible memory to keep forever. Moms—you are SUCH an important part of their story.
6. Learn to love the darkness just as much as you love the light.
When life happens you can’t control the light, which for any photographer can be frustrating. Because most of the images of my family are taken at home, I am usually fighting the light. Unless I choose instead to embrace it. Some of my favorite, most powerful images of my children are taken with very little light. There is always beauty in the shadows. Look for it!
It is my sincere hope that these tips help you capture your family authentically and that you will truly love the real images that you create. Let’s be our children’s story tellers.
Cari Dugan is a lifestyle photographer and writer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She writes candidly about everyday life and experiences of being a wife and a mother on her blog, Dugans in Cahoots. Her husband and three children make life what it is—A Beautiful Mess. You can also connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.
To catch up on the rest of our mini-series on photography, check out How to {Uniquely} Tell Your Family’s Story in Pictures and How to Find a Photographer that Fits Your Personal Style.
Such beautiful images and great ideas! I am inspired to capture my family (and home) the way it is. Thanks for sharing these great thoughts.
Oh Cari, this whole post – words, photos, and message – was stunning. You have a true gift, friend. Thank you for sharing these wonderful tips and truths!
This is seriously stunning, just like the other one. I’m a fan!
Me too, Nina. The ladies who have posted for this mini-series have all been amazing!
This is GREAT! I pinned it and saving it for later. I had never thought of taking pictures this way but it is so right!
Wonderful post, truly inspiring, thank you! I do take lots of pictures of my children, mostly on our outdoor adventures, only wish they looked as good as yours. I still find it hard to put myself in the pictures though, need to buy a tripod!