Anyone actively recovering from an addiction would be able to rattle off their list of triggers. I am NOT saying I’m addicted to fighting(!), but if you asked me today what things trigger fights for us, I could rattle off a list before you’d even finished the question. To get your mind going about your own triggers, here are three of ours:
- Holidays – Especially holidays where one member of this partnership is the star for a day (aka birthdays, father’s day, and mother’s day). Keeping expectations in check is key for us! Also, my emotions can run a little high when we’re away from family on significant holidays (like Christmas), so we try to anticipate this and head off any conflict.
- My Driving – Not because I’m a bad driver, but because I perceive Ryan’s scrutiny (even though it is seriously nonexistent!) when he’s in the passenger seat, and I get defensive. (All he has to do is raise his eyebrows, and I’m on the defensive!) Now I just avoid the situation and make him drive almost all of the time. 🙂
- Sleep Regulation – Sleep is huge! First, we both get more irritable on inadequate sleep. (Watch out when I have a newborn!) Second, me trying to regulate Ryan’s rather irregular sleep patterns never leads to good things!
What are some of your triggers? And how are you at avoiding them?
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